The Younger Brother
by SMbookworm
Summary: This is the story of Alexander. Ordinary boy by every definition: not a genius, not a criminal, not memorable in any way. This is the story that documents his involvement in every minor incident, secret operation, or cataclysmic event where the name "Artemis Fowl" pops up. This is the story that explains how he went from ordinary boy to anything but, and why it was not told sooner.
1. Foreword

_Foreword_

The first thing you should know about Alexander is that he was never meant to be born. Simply because his parents had only planned on having a single child, and by the time his existence was discovered his brother was 3 years old and he was about the size of a pea. Although unexpected, he was a welcome surprise and met a warm reception when he was born some 7 months later. At the time there was no way he could've known all the trouble he'd inadvertently get caught up in. After all, one cannot be the brother of Artemis Fowl without a few surprises.


	2. Prolouge

_Prolouge_

Alexander Fowl had never been one to follow instructions. That much had been obvious from birth, when he opted to ignore his early-to-mid December due date, miss Christmas, and make a quick, untimely entrance at 10:43 a.m. New Year's Day.

Other troubles arose the following June, when at the age of six-and-a-half months he learned to crawl. This, when combined with the boy's curious nature and tendency to wander, gave his parents many panic attacks and forced his bodyguard to place him under 24-hour surveillance, lest he spend _another_ hour chasing him through the garden.

This lead to the development of another one of Alexander's many talents: outsmarting security procedures, especially those put in place to protect him. By the time he learned to walk five months later, the boy had managed to thoroughly explore the garden, the stables, and the kennel undetected before Butler managed to get him back into his playpen.

By the age of 3, Alexander decided he didn't like the name "Alexander"; resulting in him spending a week cycling through a variety of names (including, but not limited to: Hector, Prometheus, and Daedalus) before yielding to his parent's pleas and taking the nickname "Alex". The only person who didn't call the boy this was, of course, his older brother. Artemis simply refused to quit calling him by his toddler name, either because of his natural formality or some underlying sense of humor. Regardless, Alex was a child of the Fowl family and proceeded to rectify this problem, waiting until Angeline and Artemis Sr. were out and Butler was on his rounds before pushing the 7-year-old into the pantry, locking the door, and holding him until the older boy promised to call him "Alex".

This made Alex the first person to outsmart Artemis Fowl II. And neither of them ever forgot it. However, by the time of the event that became known as the Artemis Fowl Affair some 5 years later, several things had happened.


	3. Restless

**Book One**

Alex was lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling. He was groggy but knew he wouldn't fall asleep. It wasn't so much because of an overactive mind, though he had that, as it was a desire simply not to sleep. When he slept, his body would wake up without his mind entirely realizing it and set out to do all sorts of tasks simply because he felt he would _need_ to know how to do them. Once he'd manage to slip out of his second floor bedroom window and climb on the roof, where he remained for half an hour until Butler heard his footsteps and fetched a ladder to retrieve him. This happened both night and day for him. It's said how the human body was designed to sleep in two 4-hour power naps rather than one long 8-hour hibernation. For some reason Alex's body seem to know that. Every night he slept maybe 5 hours before waking up in the pre-dawn morning with no desire to sleep anymore, only to fall back asleep in the middle of the afternoon.

Both these things had been going on since Artemis Senior's disappearance on the _Fowl Star_. To all of the therapists Alex had seen in the last twenty-three months this seem to be a response to his father's absence, but he knew better. Alex and his father weren't particularly close, not the way you would expect a father and a son to be. He'd spent time with Artemis, of course, he was the firstborn, the heir to their family's business, and needed to be educated as such. Alex, however, was the younger brother, the child no one had planned for; his father had never had any real reason to spend any kind of time with him.

Alex never mentioned this to any of the therapists though. They he could handle, but he wouldn't dare stray into a shrink's territory.

But considering all of his "incidents" his brother may decide to contact to psychologist anyway. Two nights ago had been the third time that week he'd climbed onto the roof (Butler was getting frustrated that the window locks he'd installed were proving useless). And there were other instances: chandelier swinging in the parlor, baseball pitching practice in the kitchen, rewiring Artemis's monitors while he and Butler had been "out". And then of course there was the Bathtub Incident.

Suddenly a large explosion sounded from outside the door, so close it had to be just down the hallway. It didn't sound like a combustible, more like the mother of all farts.

Alex rolled onto his side to look at the clock. 5 in the morning. Odd, it wasn't unusually for him to fall asleep around midnight and woke up around this time, but he was certain he'd been lying awake for hours.

Regardless, he pulled himself upright and pushed the covers back to go investigate.


	4. Mulch

Alex got out of his room easily enough. Despite the obvious threat his sleepwalking presented to his safety, Butler had yet to install the automatic locks on his door that would prevent him from leaving his room after 9 p.m. So for the moment he simply propped a chair under the knob from the outside, which Alex could easily slide away with aid from a yardstick slipped under the door. It was a simple tactic but the bodyguard had yet to catch him, Artemis's supposed "fairy" antics had seen to that.

On that note, it's worth mentioning that Alex had no knowledge of his brother's plan. He'd been told of it of it, of course, but he'd always assumed the older boy was messing with him. A practical joke; Most unlike Artemis.

But he'd decided to put that on the back burner and spend the moment focusing on the short, stout figure making its way to Butler's unconscious form.

Clasping the safe's treasure tightly in his fist, the dwarf turned to retrace his steps. To his utter amazement there was a human entangled in the banisters. Mulch was not one bit surprised that his recyclings had managed to hurl the elephantine Mud Man several yards through the air. Dwarf gas had been known to cause avalanches in the Alps. What did surprise him was the fact that the man had managed to get so close to him in the first place.

"You're good," said Mulch, wagging a finger at the unconscious bodyguard. "But nobody takes a body blow from Mulch Diggums and stays on their feet."

"Most say the same about him."

Commander Root's threats from his earpiece cut off abruptly as Mulch swung around to locate the source of the new voice.

"Phew, surprised me there kid" Mulch said, exhaling the breath he'd been holding. The human in question was hardly a threat on any level. He wasn't much taller than Mulch. And based on the blue cotton shirt he was using rub one of his eyes and the too-long plaid pants, he'd say that the blast had woken the Mud Boy up.

"You're not the first. So how'd you pick the whisper lock? The cellar door, sure, but that thing's tiny." The dark haired boy asked as if talking about the weather.

The latter half of the question caught Mulch by surprise. "How'd you know I came in through the cellar?"

"You just told me," Again, casually. "Plus any other room and the cameras would've caught you."

"Huh," Mulch said, reluctantly impressed. "You're a pretty smart 7-year-old aren't you?"

The hand the Mud Boy was using to rub his eye dropped at his words, and his eyes narrowed in an irritated glare.

"I'm 8 years old; in fact I'll be 9 next week." He said, "Now how'd you get into the safe? No, better question: how'd you even get past the hallway without being spotted?"

Before Mulch could come up with an answer to the questions or one of his own to, hopefully, draw the Mud Boy's attention off him, the human looked past him.

"Never mind," he said, his face falling, "You'd probably better get outta here, I don't think Butler's gonna be in a good mood when he wakes up."

Sure enough the Mud Man was stirring, the whites of his eyes showing beneath fluttering lids.

Root's voice crackled in the dwarf's ears. "Get a move on, Convict, before that Mud Man gets up and rearranges your innards. He took out an entire Retrieval team, you know."

Mulch swallowed, any bravado he had left suddenly deserting him.

"An _entire_ Retrieval team? Maybe I should get back underground… for the good of the mission."

Skipping hurriedly around the groaning bodyguard, Mulch took the steps two at a time. No point in worrying about creaking stairs when you've just sent the intestinal equivalent of Hurricane Hal scurrying around the corridors. But when he spared a moment the look over his shoulder, the pajama-clad Mud Boy had vanished.

The moment Mulch glanced back at Butler to confirm his statement; Alex dived behind a nearby table. He knew the bodyguard would be too busy going after the flatulent creature to notice him, but it was too well past his bedtime for him to risk it.

Once Butler was no longer facing him, Alex scurried further down the hallway, soundless on his nimble almost-9-year-old feet despite how tired he was. He headed roughly in the direction the wine cellar aligned to on the first floor; he was still curious about this Mulch character.

Sure enough, there was the dwarf in question, headed directly under the banister Alex was on, hidden under a cover of darkness from the lights below.

Just as he was about to pass under him and disappear into the cellar, another equally-as-short figure appeared literally from out of nowhere; a female with short auburn hair wearing some sort of jumpsuit.

Mulch addressed her by name. "_ Short."

She did the same, though it was clear the meeting wasn't planned.

Alex knew they weren't speaking English or anything like it for that matter. But something in him instinctively recognized the language and set to work translating it. They talked too fast for him to discern whole sentences, but he did get snippets and fragments.

"Julius… had to do it."

"… lost your magic…"

"… his safe." Mulch held up a strange palm-sized book in his hand. Obviously not human literature but clearly Artemis's.

"… Book! ... playing into his hands…"

Alex barely caught a movement below his view that could only be Mulch opening the cellar door, apparently asking her to come with him.

"…eyeball orders… house." She replied. A bizarre response that made the younger boy wonder if he'd heard- or rather translated- right.

"… magical… rituals…" Mulch said back, there was more at the end but Alex didn't make any sense of it before a series of sharp noises drifted down from further up the hall. A glance confirmed it: Butler was getting up.

Mulch and his apparent friend appeared to have the same idea Alex had earlier: run and hide, though he recognized one final word from Mulch: "Retrieval". The same word he'd said to his earpiece on the landing.

The word seemed to give his companion an idea as her arms and torso faded out. She said something Alex was too distracted to make out and then faded away entirely, her widened grin the last thing to go.

Alex still wasn't sure what was going on, in fact by this point he was 80% sure he was dreaming. But two things were obvious: first, this creature was planning to do something that probably wouldn't end well for whomever she was planning for; the second was a conclusion he almost always reached in out-of-ordinary situations: this was Artemis's doing.


	5. Troll

Alex had opted to sneak back into his room and slip on a pair of shoes; he had a feeling that being barefooted it wouldn't be a good idea with how the night's events were headed. As such, he missed Butler's attempted capture in the cellar and Mulch's sequential death/escape. Probably for the best, Artemis needed a moment to review his situation and find some good in it, and the LEP needed a moment to review the unexpected kink in their newly-formed plan.

"So we send in the gold," muttered Root, thinking aloud. "They send out Holly, we blue rinse the place and stroll in to reclaim the ransom. Simple."

"So simple it's brilliant," enthused Argon. "Quite a coup for our profession, wouldn't you say, Dr. Cumulus?"

Cumulus's head was spinning with possibilities, but was interrupted by Root's brisk question.

"It might be if you could tell me anything about our Mystery Mud Boy."

The delighted banter cut off abruptly and Argon brought up the video feed from Mulch's iris cam. Feature-wise the unnamed human was an exact image of what Fowl might've looked like a few years earlier. Well, almost exact. There were subtle differences: a fair but healthier-looking complexion (the result of all his years exploring every square inch of the manor grounds), as well as a rounded jaw line that, combined with the still-lingering baby fat in his cheeks, gave his face a cherub-like quality. It wasn't much of a surprise the dwarf had thought him to be younger than he actually was.

"It's a bit difficult to say, at least at this point." Cumulus started. "He obviously doesn't look like much but as we can see here," skipping the video ahead to hear "_The cellar door, sure-", _"he's a lot smarter than he looks."

Argon skipped forward and paused the video again, this time just after the dwarf's comment about Pajama Boy's age. Anyone could tell there was no real venom behind the glare, but Root didn't like the way his eyes narrowed and his mouth set; he looked far too much like Fowl.

Cumulus seemed to have the same thought. "With looks that close he and Fowl _have_ to be related."

"Obviously they're siblings! Or maybe first cousins." Argon exclaimed.

"'Obviously' nothing." Root interjected. "We can't assume anything about this boy without more info. We don't even have a name-"

"Alex" Foaly said simply.

"What?" the Commander asked, turning the centaur typing at one of the computers.

"That's his name. Alex." Foaly said again, not looking up from the screen. "I just pulled up his records. Alexander Fowl. Born January, 1992. No records at Interpol… Actually next to no records at all, from the looks of it this kid hasn't so much as gone to the bathroom without a hall pass."

"So he's not a threat?" Root pressed.

"Well like I said, it's hard to say without knowing more about him." Cumulus said, apparently sullen about being left out of the conversation.

"Here's what we know for certain," Foaly said, enlarging the boy's image. "Mulch just traded banter with Artemis Fowl's little brother."

* * *

The little brother in question was currently wondering why he was still sneaking around, after all this was _his_ house too. But because of this, the question answered itself faster than Alex would've liked. First of all, the creature Mulch talked to was doing the same, only she was invisible- if he didn't sneak, she would see him well before he saw her. Whatever Artemis had done, it'd made her awfully mad, and from her view that would make Alex guilty by association. Needless to say it was an encounter he'd prefer to avoid. Secondly, he wasn't even supposed to be awake right now. The everyday consequences of getting caught after bedtime probably should've been a minor concern, and it was, but they were still present, nonetheless. Besides, Artemis wouldn't have carried out this scheme-gone-mad if he'd thought it put Alex and their mother at risk. Would he?

Alex forcibly dispelled the unanswered question and headed up to the attic to check on the woman in question. It was a fairly regular task for him. Ever since Angeline had been bedridden Alex, like Artemis, would go to see her to make sure she was alright. Artemis had tried to keep Alex from doing so in the beginning, being the big brother he didn't want him to see their mother this way. But, like Butler, he couldn't keep an eye on him 24/7. He'd gotten into the lounge-turned-bedroom. He'd talked to his mother. Nothing else had happened and he'd been allowed to go back from time to time. The only real difference his visits were from his brothers' was that often times Angeline wouldn't recognize her eldest son; she always recognized Alex. When both brothers realized this Alex began seeing her much more often, fueling the childish hope he was young enough to be entitled to that he could eventually cure his mother. Artemis encouraged the visits, for everyone's sake. But the younger boy could tell he wasn't comfortable with the situation; he never quite looked at him the same way again.

Before he could get the stair scaling to the room however, a simmer of movement caught his eye in his peripheral vision. There was no detectable figure but all those years sneaking around the Manor, admittedly sometimes at less than usual hours, had granted Alex fine-tuned instincts at when someone was nearby; instincts he'd learned never to ignore. There was in fact a faint haze in the air, centered right in the middle of the stairway leading to the ground floor. It was something like water evaporation, or television static. And it was climbing upward.

Alex obeyed his first instinct and dived behind a corner before the _something_ could be close enough to see him. Once at a "safe" distance he poked his head out and locked his gaze on the television static-cloud scaling the stairs; scanning and tracking it the same way he'd looked for non-existent monsters in his pitch-black room in the days before his sleepwalking had set in.

Soon enough, the haze had reached the second floor, and not a minute too soon. Just seconds afterwards, Butler's gigantic form burst out of the door and down the stairs. The only remnant he'd ever been there a moment later was Juliet's name ringing in his ears. Between that and his still-lingering grogginess, Alex almost didn't notice the haze move towards the slowly closing door Butler had come from- the door to Artemis's study. As it moved through the gap and entered the room, Alex followed close enough behind to risk being spotted- stopping the door just a centimeter away from shutting.

"Good evening, Captain Short. At the risk of sounding clichéd, I've been expecting you."

Alex rolled his eyes. Typical Artemis banter. He could practically see his face: straight, business-like. An emotionless mask. He didn't even need to look, it was the same face their father had always worn when conducting business affairs. The difference was that he'd always dropped it whenever he was around his wife or sons. Artemis had worn the mask since their father had gone missing. It'd seemed ill-fitting on his young face at first, as if the mask were too big. But after two years the older boy seemed to have grown into it. It was there more often too, as though it were growing over his features; blocking any other usual expressions.

The Captain didn't respond, and didn't seem to plan to as Artemis continued talking.

"You are, of course, still bound by the promises made earlier tonight…"

He wasn't really talking to her. It didn't sound so much as he was trying to intimidate her as reassure himself.

"So, basically, our situation hasn't changed. You are still my hostage."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

The Captain may've been bored by the practical monologue, but Alex was grateful for it. The fact that this was a hostage negotiation, with Artemis as the capture, made a lot of new pieces fall into place. _But why are she and that Mulch character so small. And how did she disappear like that?_ He thought. His brain supplied another too-quick answer, this time in the form of the recollection of Artemis telling his younger brother his plans to kidnap a fairy.

Okay now he could only be 60% sure he was dreaming.

"Something I should know?" Artemis said curiously. Well, as curiously as the mask would allow.

"Quiet." The Captain hissed. Alex could only guess she was trying to listen to something Artemis didn't have access to. A radio from his guess, but that was just based on her apparent occupation.

"It's not polite, you know. Ignoring your host."

Careful Arty.

The Captain snarled. "Enough is enough."

Uh oh.

"That's right, rich boy. You're on your own this time."

For a second Alex thought she was talking to him.

_Whack!_

"Oof" _Thud_.

"Oh, _yes!_ That felt good."

It seemed she punched him. Alex clasped his spare hand over his mouth to ensure his impish laughs wouldn't give him away. But a red tinge still spread over his cheeks. He wondered idly if it would leave a bruise. He could only pray she'd hit him in the face.

While the Captain talked to someone called "Foaly", he couldn't be sure if it were a codename or not, Alex learned that whatever force opposing his brother had fed the monitors a loop- which explained how Mulch had gotten past cameras in the hallway. Artemis must've noticed the loop and purged it, probably once Butler had gone on his rounds and remained at the same place on his feed.

"D'Arvit." The Captain said. Alex wasn't sure if it were his somewhat-functional internal translator or just the way she said it, but it sounded like a swear word.

"You hit me." Artemis said in disbelief. Alex wasn't sure why there was disbelief. He'd hit, kicked, and spat on his older brother a number of times in the past.

"That's right, Fowl. And there's more where that came from. So stay right where you are, if you know what's good for you."

Alex knew he should've gone back into his hiding place at this statement, but for once he ignored the instinct in favor of hearing whatever snappy comeback Artemis had to say. He was every bit as surprised as he was sure the older boy was when one didn't arrive.

The Captain seemed to take the silence as an invitation to ramble a bit more, just for the sake of parodying him.

"That's right, Mud boy. Playtime's over. Time for the professionals to take over. If you're a good boy, I'll buy you a lollipop when I come back."

Alex had to cover his mouth again as he ran back behind the corner. He had to admit he liked the Captain, up until tonight he'd been the only one to make Artemis look so ridiculous.

Maybe he could be 65% sure.

Then he heard a strange sort of noise coming back from the doorway. Hollow like a blowtorch but fast and loud like a gunshot. He peered over the corner, thankful the now-visible figure wasn't looking at him. The Captain was still in the same jumpsuit as before, but now her face was covered by a full-face helmet and she held something like a futuristic gun in her hands. A gun she apparently used to seal the door shut.

Then a pair of dragonfly-like wings folded out of her backpack and she took off down the hallway away from him.

Alex took the opportunity of her absence to crawl back to the door to inspect the damage. The lock was completely melted; it was amazing the knob was still attached.

It was at that exact moment that he quite clearly heard a voice on the over side of the door say "I don't like lollipops."

This time both of Alex's hands flew to his mouth, and even then most of the laughter escaped through his nose.

Wait, _lollipops_?

"Mud boy"?

Make that 70%.

Then the front door imploded, making the ground beneath him shake and his ears ring again.

Alright, 75%.

* * *

Alex was still on the upper landing when the main doorway was essentially vaporized, safe from the danger he hadn't yet realized was coming. He spotted Butler as he ducked behind one of the knights in the lower hallway. They were close enough that he had to lay down on his stomach as he peeked beyond the railing to avoid being seen.

The blond teenager slung over his shoulder tapped the breastplate of the closer knight.

"You think you're mean? I could take you with one hand."

Alright, that was weird even for Juliet. And being an 8-year-old boy he considered girls pretty weird to begin with.

"Quiet," Butler hissed. Although the warning wasn't aimed at him, Alex obeyed it all the same. Shrinking back from the edge.

When the doorway basically transformed into a cloud of dust and smoke, two thought were running through Alex's mind. The first was _I wonder how Artemis is going to explain this one_. The second was _that's going to ruin the rug, Mum'll be furious_. Dr. Allen, the sleep therapist that arguable knew him better than his own father, had once noted that Alex often talked of his parents in present rather than past tense. He considered this a coping method rather than denial.

Then he realized that Butler hadn't moved. Alex may not have been an expert in military tactics but he knew that now would've been the precise time to get the heck out of there. Then he remembered the sixteen-year-old the older man was still carrying and understood.

A large dark blob moved, separate from the dusty haze. Alex didn't have the first-hand knowledge to know exactly what it was, but his own instincts filled him with enough dread to know that it was some sort of animal. The large, powerful kind. The reflective crimson pupils, shaggy forelocks, and curved knife-like tusks did little to ease the feeling. If anything it transformed it into full-fledged, rooted-to-the-spot fear.

This would be the first time he'd ever seen Butler go up against a creature as big as him, and wondered briefly if he was scared too.

He quickly dispelled the thought. Butler was never scared of anything.

The creature stepped out of the dust haze. Alex would've gasped at the sight if he weren't still rooted to the spot. Butler had no such handicap, he gasped incredibly softly but loud enough for Alex to hear from his place above them. So much for not being scared.

Alex decided to pay more attention to the creature's movements rather than its appearance. The first would only make him more scared.

The creature squinted against the dim chandelier light, its claws picking up sparks as they scraped the marble tiling beneath them. It sniffed the air curiously and tilted its head, a notion that would've been cute on any other animal if it weren't so clear the animal were hunting.

Okay, maybe watching its movements wasn't the best idea.

Despite his fear Alex did catch the creature's head suddenly freeze, its head pointed to Butler's hiding spot.

_And mine_ he realized.

The creature leapt forward at a speed no animal that size should have a right to, battering aside the suit of armor that weighed more than two of him as if it were a rag doll. Alex instinctively jumped back, knocking his head on the wall behind him, and then huddled into a ball and prayed the creature couldn't see him.

"Ooh, it's Bigfoot Bob. Canadian champion 1998. I thought you were in the Andes, looking for your relatives."

Alex, believe it or not, was well aware of who Bigfoot Bob was. The younger boy was seldom allowed to accompany Artemis on any of his "antics", and while his brother was gone with Butler that left him in Juliet's care. While the girl wasn't _officially_ his bodyguard, she was still twice his age—that left her in charge of the TV. Alex knew more about professional wrestling than he did about math.

These were the only thought Alex could squeeze in to try and calm himself. It was all he could get before he heard two gunshots he recognized to be from Butler's Sig Sauer. He leaned in- just close enough to see over the edge guarded by the wooden railing.

Then he saw the blood. The fresh patch right on one of the creature's tusks. He knew it could've only come from one source. _Butler_, he thought in shock.

Then the huge man was flying. Flipped over the creature's head as easily as Alex would have if he were a pillow. Butler collided with the opposite wall, cracking bricks from floor to ceiling, though he heard a few cracks that couldn't have possibly be made by stone.

"Come on, brother. Get off the canvas. We all know you're faking." Juliet said again. It was a classic line she often said during the matches she watched with him.

_She's right, he's faking. Juliet knows wrestling tactics better than anyone. It's just a matter of time. Pretty soon we'll be betting how long he'll keep it up._

The slightly hysterical thoughts raced through Alex's head, forcing the denial to distract his brain from acknowledging what he already knew.

Juliet's comment brought the creature's attention back to her, and Alex realized that as the smallest and the weakest he would be the next target after her. He was easy prey and he was within arm's reach. He didn't have much a moment to contemplate that as the creature licked its large incisors and extended its hand.

Alex was instantly overwhelmed by Déjà-vu at the movement. He was quite certain he'd never seen it before but combined with the scene of the destroyed front room and the bizarre animal performing it instantly flashed him back to one of the more vivid dreams he had almost a month ago. The very one that made him scream himself awake in his dorm- terrifying his roommate and the teacher on rounds in his hall that night- ultimately resulting in him being sent home to receive "professional treatment".

The action following this movement was the creature's claws slicing underneath Juliet's ribs, rupturing her heart, killing her instantly.

Alex sprang through the door next to him, suddenly glad his bedroom was so close to the scene.

Alex's home life wasn't entirely perfect before the sinking of the _Fowl Star_, but like Artemis he believed their father was still alive somewhere. The absence of their parent was hard, but nowhere near as hard for him as it was for the older boy. Being the younger of the two Alex was entitled to a childish and maybe even impossible hope. "_Maybe when he comes back, things will be better"_.

Alex's hand circled around the large gun hidden under his bed, solving the mystery as to why he stole it from the hidden weapons cache no one knew he knew about hid it there during one of his sleepwalking incidences three weeks ago.

Alex wasn't half the genius his brother was, he'd always known that. But he did know this: if Juliet died tonight, things would _never_ get better.

As a last minute notion the almost-nine-year-old boy snatched the lamp off his nightstand without bothering to unplug it.

He raced back out the hall and hurled the pastel blue bedside light over the railing. Solving the Baseball Pitching Incident of last week as it landed right on top of the enormous creatures head. It didn't seem to notice the spray of glass from the shattered light bulb, instead swinging its gaze up to where the small boy crouched at railing, struggling to properly aim the large weapon.

Alex used both hands to squeeze the Butler-sized gun aimed at the creature's wide forehead. Obediently two metal tabs sprang out from their place inside the large Taser, but due to a slight shudder on Alex's part ended up missing their target and landed right at the base of their target's large nostrils.

The creature roared loudly as the small bout of electricity surged into its sensitive nose. It ended too quickly though, as it was just at that moment that Alex realized his action, though brave and served their purpose to distract the creature from Juliet, had only made the large predator angry.

It was this exact moment that the Captain dived in from above, twirling midair so her feet caught the creature on the exact spot Alex had originally been aiming for before it had a chance to recover.

It was at that point Alex decided not to tempt fate and raced around the corner.

* * *

In later years, Alex would feel guilty about running away right then. Especially once he found out the captain had taken both his and Juliet's place as the creature's center of attention/highly possible meal- which was basically three seconds later when he tripped over the carpet just off the corner and caught sight of her in the enormous creature's grasp.

He contemplated his options. He could try the distraction technique with the Taser again, that'd worked before. Only the item in question was still on the floor of the banister just above the creature's shoulder, where Alex had dropped it in his haste to get away.

He saw the Captain reach for a button on the side of her helmet, what it did he didn't know- and didn't find out as nothing happened. Another abnormal situation Artemis was probably to blame for (he would have to remember to keep closer tabs on his brother's "questionable" activities, for both their sakes).

The Captain seemed to have been as frustrated at the malfunction as he was at his brother, in a split second he heard her clearly say (again, not in English) "Laugh this off," before slamming her helmeted head into the creature's undoubtedly thick one.

Alex wasn't entirely sure how to respond to the action. It was valiant and admirable, definitely, but to him it only made the whole situation more surreal. Before he had the chance to raise his How-Likely-This-Is-All-A-Dream percentage up a few points, white light shot out of the crown of the Captain's helmet, solving the mystery of what the button did. The light, fortunately or unfortunately, was directly aimed at the creature's eyes and, taking offense to the sudden brightness, briefly spasmed before hurling her across the room.

He winced, simultaneously shutting his eyes, when she hit wall, making a similar sound his brother's bodyguard did not two feet from her. When he opened his eyes, he found saw the Captain's tiny form completely enveloped in the Norman tapestry (another thing for Mum to be upset about). He wondered briefly if she were still alive, and his answer came when a child-sized hand poked out from beneath the folds and landed on the bare skin of Butler's arm. This time it was the tiny blue sparks that shot from her hand that surprised him.

Suddenly he remembered the very large, very predatory creature still in the main hall, still seeming to feel the aftereffects of the light. After a moment it seemed to pass and it returned its attention to Juliet, squatting low and even getting close enough to align a long yellowed claw with the length of her neck.

The loud startled gasp escaped him before he even had time to realize it was coming, he was just too horrified that his efforts to save his unofficial bodyguard/part-time babysitter/friend were all in vain. The noise itself did serve the purpose of killing the horrid thought. Though the animal didn't move its crimson red eyes flashed over to Alex's spot on the banister adjacent to its position.

Terror alone would've been enough to pin the boy to the spot, but he could practically feel this creature's gaze looking him over, trying to decide which of them to kill first.

The minute before his brain could fully acknowledge the fact that he was going to die, however, was the exact minute that the suddenly animate suit of armor appeared.

On another day Alex would've noticed that that supposed knight in shining armor was distinctly Butler-sized. He also would've noticed that the deep voice that said "now, I'll show you what happens when someone lays a hand on my sister," from inside the sealed visor was also distinctly Butler-like.

But he did neither. Because at the time Alex's brain had decided to scrap the percentage he'd forgotten by now and made an executive decision: this was _definitely_ a dream.

The knight slammed the mace into the creature's back, effectively tearing its gaze from Alex, its taloned hand from Juliet, and its attention from both of them. He planted one of his feet lower down on the animal's back, tearing the weapon free with a sound that, in his state, made the younger boy want to throw up. Thankfully that he was still too overloaded with shock to do so.

The knight skidded back as the animal rounded to face its offender. Alex noticed small drops of moisture on the tip of each tusk. Like the fangs of a spider or snake. The perhaps-sleep-deprived rooted thought almost led him to ponder what sort of poison the creature produced, and what in the world it would need it for, if the knight had not spoken again.

"I must warn you, I am armed and prepared to use deadly force if necessary."

This was a typical, cliché, macho-banter type yet professional warning you could only expect a police officer giving a cornered convict in a bad movie, which was why Alex suddenly recognized Butler in the scene before him.

"Step away from the female. Easy, now."

Alex wondered how long the bodyguard planned on keeping up the calm police-style instructions to a creature they were clearly wasted upon, or for another matter if he'd even noticed him yet. From his new position the bodyguard was now facing him, but it was impossible to tell with the man's face hidden.

The creature bellowed out a roar he hadn't expected. Alex winced again, this time covering his ears as well as shutting his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. Real scary. Now just back out of the door and I won't have to cut you into little pieces."

Though the line obviously frustrated the creature, it instantly soothed Alex. Butler wasn't scared, maybe not ever but he wasn't scared now. It suddenly made the situation feel back under control.

"One step at a time. Nice and slow. Easy there, big fellow."

With his panic now at bay Alex was now able to see Butler's game: diversion. Gain an element of surprise and then use it.

As if on cue Butler dove under the poisoned tusks and delivered a swift blow to the jaw with the enormous mace. The creature's claws swung wildly but only slashed air- Butler was already well out of reach, now right underneath him.

The creature turned back toward him, spitting white shards. Alex made a face when he realized they were teeth- the sight was a lot more disturbing than his cartoon shows led him to believe. Butler slid across the polished wood floor on his knees with surprising agility for someone his size, turning and rising to face the creature.

"Guess what I found?" he said, raising the large gun Alex recognized as his Sig Sauer.

Butler popped about a dozen bullets between the mammoth creature's eyes. It didn't drop dead, like Alex or anyone else would've expected it to, instead the creature slapped at its brow as it staggered backwards. In lightning speed Butler was on it again, this time nailing one of its shaggy feet to the floor with the spiked mace. From there the manservant delivered a series of hits that appeared random to the younger boy's untrained eyes, raining them down with his gauntleted hands. Blow after blow the creature came down, only resisting with the weakest of thrashes. In a matter of seconds the once terrifying creature was reduced down to a shivering mass of shag carpet.

And that wasn't even it. Butler removed the blood-covered gauntlets- another sight more disturbing than he'd been led to believe- and loaded a fresh clip into his gun.

Alex immediately knew what he was going to do.

_I should look away,_ He thought. _If Arty were here he'd make sure I look away._ But his brother wasn't here to turn his head away, so he looked on.

"Let's see how much bone you have under your chin."

Alex gulped.

"No," a voice gasped. "Don't." Alex looked back to the fallen tapestry- the Captain. "Don't do it….You owe me."

Butler had the large gun wedged underneath the creature's massive jaw, fingering the trigger. But in the instant Alex saw his hesitation he knew he wouldn't pull it. The Captain's words were true enough and Butler was a man of honor- plus Juliet was safe now.

"You owe me, human."

Butler sighed, and Alex unconsciously relaxed at the sound. "Very well, Captain. The beast lives to fight another day. Lucky for him, I'm in a good mood."

Captain Short made a small noise that Alex could neither hear from his distance nor care enough to guess.

"Now let's get rid of our hairy friend." With that, Butler rolled the limp creature onto an armored trolley; dragging it to what remained of the doorway and tossing it back out into the night with a heave. "And don't come back," he shouted after it.

"Phew." Alex sighed softly.

Not softly enough though. At the sound, three pairs of eyes swung upwards to focus on where the eight-year-old was still kneeling on the upper landing.

With no other ideas on what to do, Alex gave a rueful smile, a small nervous laugh, and a shy wave.


	6. Ace in the Hole

Butler put three rounds in the door frame while Alex stood a few feet behind him with his hands clamped over his ears. The door itself was steel and would have sent the Devastator slugs ricocheting straight back at him. But the frame was the original porous stone used to build the manor. It crumbled like chalk. It was actually a tactic he'd borrowed from the younger boy; last year he'd sleepwalked out of the house despite the coded locks by removing the hinges and sliding through the small gap provided- he ended up climbing one of the higher trees by the barn.

Master Artemis was waiting calmly in his chair by the monitor bank.

"Nice work, Butler."

"Thank you, Artemis. We were in trouble for a moment there. If it hadn't been for the captain…"

"What was that anyway?" Alex piqued as he followed Butler into the office.

"Healing, one of the fairy arts." Artemis said to his brother, then to himself, "I wonder why she did it."

"I wonder too," said Butler softly. "We certainly didn't deserve it."

Alex's agitation at the second half of his brother's statement (Artemis had made a habit of cutting him out of conversations since the _Fowl Star_) was instantly soothed by Butler's words. The manservant expressed discomfort about as often as he expressed fear. At least in either boy's presence.

Artemis glanced up sharply, apparently having the same train of thought. "Keep the faith, old friend. The end is in sight."

Butler nodded; he even attempted a smile. Even if Alex were only as good at reading emotions as Artemis was he would've seen right through it. It was at that point he decided to do what he did best besides beating security procedures: lightening the mood.

"'The end is in sight'? But I just got here!" He exclaimed.

Artemis's gaze swung to him, seeming to fully acknowledge his brother's presence for the first time. "So I noticed. Aren't you supposed to be in bed?"

Alex cocked an eyebrow, mimicking Artemis's expression. "Aren't you?"

The left half of Artemis's mouth twitched up in what could be considered a smirk. The small crack in his usual composure lasted barely a second; he didn't seem to realize it happened. His dark blue eyes swept over the younger boy, assessing him.

"Alex, how much sleep have you gotten tonight?"

He thought for a second.

"None," the 8-year-old answered promptly. "Unless, of course, you count right now."

Artemis groaned slightly and held his head in one of his hands. '_This child is testing my patience'_ he imagined him thinking. Not many emotions could slip through the mask's filters, and things along the lines of annoyance and exasperation among them. Soon enough, his usual cold composure returned, but not without some effort.

"Well that doesn't matter, the negotiations are over. One way or another Captain Short will be returned to her kind." He told Alex sternly. Then Butler, "no harm will befall upon her. You have my word."

The manservant glanced at Artemis. "And Juliet?"

"Yes?"

"Is there any danger to my sister?"

"No. No danger."

Alex cocked an eyebrow, both skeptical and curious. The scene downstairs fit just about anyone's definition of 'dangerous'. And it was only going to get worse, well… if his sleepwalking was any indicator he was known for having vivid dreams.

"The fairies are just going to give us this gold and walk away?"

Artemis snorted gently, a humorous gesture that very rarely got through the mask. "No, not exactly. They're going to bio-bomb Fowl Manor the second Captain Short is clear."

Alex's eyebrows popped up. He may not have been a genius, but he was well aware of what a bomb was.

Butler took a breath to speak, but hesitated. Obviously there was more to the plan. Master Fowl would tell him what he needed to know. So instead of quizzing his employer, he made a simple statement.

"I trust you, Artemis."

"Yes," replied the boy, the weight of that trust etched on his brow. "I know."

At this Alex's shock passed. Ever since they'd been in this Batman situation Artemis seemed to think it was his job to be both overprotective big brother and concerned parental figure to his little brother. He often forgot the toll that sort of thing took on someone so young. So he decided to do his second-best thing.

"You know, most twelve-year-old boys play football in their free time. You ever thought about doing that?"

Artemis scowled.

* * *

Holly hovered beneath the portico. Orange shards of light striped the blue. The time-stop was breaking up. There were only minutes left before Root blue-rinsed the whole place. Foaly's voice buzzed in her earpiece.

"Okay, Captain Short. The gold in on the way. Be ready to move."

"We don't bargain with kidnappers," said Holly, surprised. "What's going on here?"

"Nothing," Foaly replied casually. "Straight forward exchange. The gold comes in, you come out. We send in the missile. Big blue bang, and it's all over."

"Does Fowl know about the bio-bomb?"

"Yep. Knows all about it. Claims he can escape the time-field."

"That's impossible."

"Correct."

"But they'll all be killed!"

"Big deal," retorted Foaly, and Holly could almost see him shrug. "That's what you get when you mess with the People."

Holly was torn. There was no doubt that Fowl was a danger to the civilized underworld. Very few tears would be shed over his body. But the girl, Juliet, and pajama-clad little boy—they were innocents. They deserved a chance.

Holly descended to an altitude of six and a half feet. Head height for Butler. The humans had congregated in the wreckage that used to be a hallway. There was disunity between them. The LEP officer could sense it. Well, most of them at least.

The younger boy that was previously on the banister was currently settled in the crook of Butler's arm, rubbing his eyes and yawning slightly- it would seem the adrenaline brought from the troll was leaving his system. He was a small child; he looked like a toddler in Butler's gigantic arms. He didn't appear to have a clue what was going on. For some reason that just made her angrier.

Holly glared accusingly at Artemis. "Have you told them?"

Artemis returned her stare. "Told them what?"

"Yes, Fairy, told us what?" echoed Juliet belligerently, still a bit miffed over the _mesmer_izing.

The dark-haired boy hesitated for a moment before saying, "I'd like to be the first to ask that question without the sarcasm."

Holly opted to ignore him. "Don't play dumb, Fowl. You know what I'm talking about."

Artemis glanced upward to briefly meet his apparent brother's gaze from the boy's spot in Butler's arm before turning back to her. He could never play dumb for long, and they both knew it. "Yes, Captain Short. I do. The bio-bomb. Your concern would be touching, if it extended to myself. Nevertheless, do not upset yourself. Everything is proceeding according to plan."

"According to plan!" gasped Holly, pointing to the devastation surrounding them. "Was this part of the plan? Butler almost getting killed, and your brother being placed in the line of fire—all part of the plan?"

Artemis glanced upwards again as the younger boy suddenly tensed at Holly's words. He relaxed nearly the instant he met his brother's eyes.

"No," Artemis admitted. "The troll was a slight blip. But irrelevant to the overall scheme."

Holly resisted the urge to punch the pale human again, turning instead to Butler- and, by extension, his younger charge. Through hooded lids the small boy was looking at her with curious, but calculating, eyes.

"Listen to reason, for heaven's sake. You cannot escape the time-field. It has never been done."

Butler's features could have been etched in stone. Pajama Boy, however, was considerably more open. He shrugged, unfazed.

"There's a first for everything," he said. "And if Arty says it can be done, then it can."

Holly already knew it was pointless to argue with him—he was a child, still held tight by the bonds of family loyalty. She knew she'd have a far better chance on his bodyguard.

"Butler—your sister, are you willing to risk her life out of loyalty to a felon?"

"Artemis is no felon, miss, he is a genius. Now please remove yourself from my sightline. I am monitoring the main entrance." He said.

Holly buzzed up to twenty feet. Alex practically bent his neck backward trying to keep her in his sightline.

"You're crazy. All of you! In five minutes you'll all be dust. Don't you realize?"

Holly noticed the younger boy opening his mouth to say something, but Artemis sighed and beat him to it. "You've had your answer, Captain. Now, please. This is a delicate stage in the proceedings."

"Proceedings? It's a kidnapping! At least have the guts to call it what it is."

Artemis's patience was beginning to fray, and Alex looked disgruntled at, once again, being cut out of the conversation.

"Butler, do we have any tranquilizer hypodermics left?"

The giant manservant nodded, but didn't speak. Alex remained silent as well, but his was accompanied by an eye roll. He was confident his brother wouldn't actually shoot the Captain and he was only kidding himself to think of the idea (another crude attempt at humor). A genius Artemis may've been, but is still had the patience of the boy he really was. Besides, even if the order to sedate did come, he doubted Butler would, or even could, do it—not after the troll fiasco. Luckily Artemis's attention was diverted by activity in the avenue.

"Ah, it would seem the LEP have capitulated. Butler, supervise the delivery. But stay alert. Our fairy friends are not above trickery."

"You're a fine one to talk," muttered Holly.

Butler set Alex down and hurried to the demolished doorway. The younger boy turned to his brother with questioning eyes.

"What's capitulated mean?"

* * *

"It's the ransom," Butler shouted from the doorway. Alex immediately came running up, his drowsiness stunted by eager curiosity, though the manservant prevented him from getting to close.

"Check for booby traps." He heard his brother say.

Butler stepped cautiously on to the porch. Alex followed, much less so, dancing nimbly around the stone shards that used to be gargoyle statues.

"No hostiles. Seems to be self-propelled." The bodyguard reported.

Alex leaned in for a closer look and the trolley lurched over the steps, making him jump back.

"I could drive better with a game controller." He said. It was more a statement of fact than an insult- Alex had harbored a deep love for remote-controlled helicopters and cars since he was five.

Butler bent low to the ground, scanning the trolley's underside. Alex used his preoccupation to climb onto the cargo hold.

"No explosive devices visible."

He extracted a Sweeper from his pocket, extending the telescopic aerial. Alex didn't pay any attention to this, leaning over the side and tapping something along the trolley's frame.

"No bugs either. Nothing detectable at any rate." Butler continued.

"What's this?" Alex asked, pointing the object he'd previously been obstructing from Butler's view.

"Uh-oh," said Foaly.

"A camera." Butler answered, reaching in and pulling the fish-eye lens out by the cable.

"Sorry," Alex said to it.

In spite of the load it carried, the trolley responded easily to Butler's touch, gliding across the threshold into the lobby with Alex still swinging his feet idly over the side. It stood there humming softly, as though waiting to be unloaded.

Butler lowered Alex to the ground again, and the younger boy immediately went back to his brother's side. Artemis was in a rare state of nervousy. Now that the moment had come, Artemis was almost afraid to seize it. It was hard to believe that after all these months, his wicked scheme was minutes away from fruition. Then Alex slid his small hand into his limp one. Artemis looked down at him and pulled himself together- these last few minutes were the vital ones, and the most dangerous.

"Open it," he said, his voice laced with the most subtle tremble he had no doubt his observant little brother noticed.

It was an irresistible instant. Juliet approached tentatively, spangled eyes wide. Alex's hand tightened slightly while his spare one flew to his brother's wrist. Even Holly closed the throttled a notch, dropping until her feet brushed the marble tiling. Butler unzipped the black tarpaulin, dragging it back across the cargo.

Nobody said a thing. Artemis imagined that somewhere the _1812 Overture_ was playing. The gold sat there, stacked in shining rows. It seemed to have an aura, a warmth, but also an inherent danger. There were a lot of people willing to die or kill for the unimaginable wealth this gold could bring.

With that, Alex finally understood the meaning behind the family motto, "Gold is Power". Something that'd eluded him up to this point.

"They paid," Holly breathed. "I can't believe it."

"Neither can I," murmured Artemis. "Butler, is it real?"

Butler hefted a bar from the stack. He dug the tip of a throwing knife into ingot, gouging out a small sliver.

"It's real all right," he said, holding the scraping up to the light. "This one, at any rate."

"Good. Very good. Begin unloading it, would you? We'll send the trolley back out with Captain Short."

Hearing her name brought both Alex and Holly out of their trance.

"Artemis, give it up. No human has ever succeeded in keeping fairy gold. And they've been trying for centuries. The LEP will do anything to protect their property."

Artemis shook his head. Amused.

"I've told you…"

Holly took him by the shoulders. "You cannot escape! Don't you understand?"

Pajama Boy poked her arm. "Even if he can't it's a little late now," he whispered, his hand over one side of his mouth as if to block out his brother.

The older boy didn't hear him, or at least pretended he didn't.

"I can escape," he said simply. "Look in my eyes and tell me I'm wrong."

He had her. They both knew she wouldn't say such a thing in front of his brother. Still, she looked. Captain Holly Short gazed into her captor's blue-black eyes and she saw the truth in there. And for a moment she believed it.

"There's still time," she said desperately. "There must be something. I have magic."

A crease of annoyance wrinkled Artemis's brow. But Alex's bleary eyes suddenly snapped up with curiosity. With hope.

"I hate to disappoint you, Captain, but there is absolutely nothing."

The hand in his own tightened almost painfully. Artemis looked down at his younger brother and the boy's eyes flicked meaningfully upstairs to the converted loft. He could practically hear the boy's thoughts. '_Do you really need all this gold, Arty?_' '_Riches or not, you're not going to feel right about this in the morning. We both know that._' '_Please! We need Mum as much as we need Dad._'

Artemis shook himself. Stick to the plan. Stick to the plan. No emotion.

'_Drop the Mask! Just this once!'_

Artemis felt a familiar hand on his shoulder, breaking the spell.

"Everything all right?"

"Yes, Butler. Keep unloading. Get Juliet to help. I need to talk to Captain Short."

"Are you sure there's nothing wrong?"

Artemis sighed, his brother's gaze burning a hole in the side of his head. "No old friend, I'm not sure. But it's too late now."

Butler nodded, returning to his task. Juliet toddled along behind him like a terrier.

"Now, Captain. About your magic."

"What about it?" Holly's eyes were hooded with suspicion.

"What would I have to do to buy a wish?"

Holly glanced at the trolley. "Well, that depends. What do you have to bargain with?"

* * *

Captain Short was leading the trolley back out what remained of the front entrance, about half of the ransom stacked on it. Dividing the amount 50/50 had been Pajama Boy's idea, and unlike his brother he was quite agreeable. The front of the trolley was about a foot away from the entrance when she heard a voice over her shoulder.

"Wait!"

She looked back and saw the younger human racing to her. Neither Artemis nor Butler were in sight.

"Yes?" she asked, puzzled.

He stopped a formal distance from her. "I know Arty never meant for me to get involved in any of this, so if he ever gets into trouble again I'm not gonna be around. We're probably not going to see each other again after tonight, so I wanted to say thanks." He held out his hand. "For everything."

Slowly, Holly took the outstretched hand and shook it.

"For the record, Arty'd say the same thing. If he let himself," He said ruefully, rubbing one eye with the sleeve of his shirt in a gesture Holly had a feeling she would come to associate with him.

"Really?"

"Trust me, I'm his brother. I know him better than anybody."

"And you really think he can escape the time-field?"

"If anyone can, it's Arty."

She didn't answer and he continued.

"And regardless of what I believe, he's family. We're stuck with each other no matter of how we feel about each other. So we have to show a little faith."

She paused, slightly thrown by his sincerity.

"Then what do you think is going to happen when the bio-bomb goes off?"

He shrugged, "I'm assuming that's when I'll wake up," he said simply before turning back the way he came.

"Thanks again. And don't worry, if Arty's future schemes can slip by our Mum, Butler, _and_ myself, he deserves to get away with it."

With that, he reentered the hallway and disappeared from view, and Holly resumed pushing the gold-filled trolley out the door.

* * *

Butler and Artemis were talking when Alex returned to the main hallway, thankfully his conversation with the captain was brief enough that neither had noticed he was gone. Butler looked more than a little surprised.

"You gave it back?"

Artemis nodded. "About half. We still have quite a nest egg. About fifteen million dollars at today's market prices."

Butler usually wouldn't ask. But this time he had to. "Why, Artemis? Can you tell me?"

"I suppose so." The boy smiled, his brother returning to his side. "I felt we owed the captain something. For services rendered."

"Is that all?"

Artemis nodded. The younger boy knew he wouldn't talk about the wish, it could be perceived as weakness.

"Hmm," said Butler as he saw Alex roll his eyes and mouthed 'I'll tell you later' to him over his employer's shoulder.

"Now, we should celebrate," enthused Artemis, deftly changing the subject. "Some champagne, I think."

The boy strode to the kitchen before the bodyguard or younger boy's gaze could dissect him.

By the time the others caught up, Artemis had already filled three glasses with Dom Perignon and a fourth with skim milk.

Alex immediately knew who the fourth glass was for. "Why don't I get any?"

"Alex, you're eight years old." Artemis said calmly.

"And you're twelve! If you have some I should too!"

By now the younger boy was practically yelling so Butler decided to intervene. "Let it go, Alex."

The angered boy crossed his arms and frowned, but relented.

Artemis grinned softly, he often forgot how adorable the little boy's fury could be. "We'll talk more when you're older."

"As in nine?" Alex asked hopefully.

Artemis paused. "Ten."

Alex frowned again but took the crystal flute offered to him as Butler and Juliet did the same.

The girl looked at her brother.

"Is this okay?"

"I suppose so." He took a breath. "You know I love you, don't you, sis?"

At Butler's words Artemis discreetly looked sideways at his own sibling. Alex met his gaze and, if the onlooker looked closely enough, nodded slightly.

Juliet, meanwhile, scowled—something else that the local louts found endearing. She smacked her brother on the shoulder.

"You're so emotional for a bodyguard."

Butler looked his employer straight in the eye.

"You want us to drink this, don't you, Artemis?"

Artemis met his gaze squarely. "Yes, Butler. I do."

Without another word Butler drained his glass, Juliet followed suit. The manservant tasted the tranquilizer immediately, and although he would have had ample time to snap Artemis Fowl's neck, he didn't. No need for Juliet to be distressed in her final moments, nor for Alex's delusion that he'd dreamed the night's events to be shattered.

Artemis watched his friends sink to the floor. A pity to deceive them. But if they had been alerted to the plan, their anxiety could have counteracted the sedative. It was then he noticed Alex hadn't yet taken as much as a sip of his own drink. He was looking at Artemis as squarely as Butler had. Alex was a very open boy, he wore his emotions on his sleeve and allowed them to play freely on his face. Once again Artemis could practically hear the boy's thoughts in his own mind. '_I'm going to tell myself this was all a dream for the sake of coping, but don't think I'll forget this. We both know better.'_ Artemis sighed and closed his eyes, is was going to take a lot more than a glass of faux champagne at his 10th birthday to get Alex to forgive him for this. He opened his eyes, met his little brother's gaze coolly, and clicked his glass with his in a silent toast. With only the barest hints of hesitation on either parts, both boys swallowed their respective tranquilizer-laced drinks.

Artemis waited calmly for the drug to take hold of his system. He wasn't worried about Alex's anxiety fighting it, the boy had had an eventful night and was long overdue for a nap—the sedative would tip him over the edge and his own fatigue would keep him asleep for hours afterward. As his thoughts began to swirl, it occurred to him that neither of them would awaken again. "_Even if you can't it's a little late now_"—Alex's words from earlier, which he used to chastise himself as he sank into unconsciousness.

* * *

Artemis could hear a voice calling his name. There was a face behind the voice, but it was blurred, hard to make out. His father, perhaps?

"Father?" The word was strange in his mouth. Unused. Rusty. Artemis opened his eyes.

Butler was leaning over him. "Artemis. You're awake."

"Ah, Butler. It's you."

Artemis got to his feet, head spinning with the effort. He expected Butler's hand at his elbow to steady him. It didn't come. Juliet was lying on a chaise longue, dribbling onto the cushions. Obviously the draft hadn't worn off yet. Alex was in a similar one next to her, curled up on the cushion like a contented cat.

"It was just sleeping pills, Butler. Harmless."

The manservant's eyes had a dangerous glint. "Explain yourself."

Artemis rubbed his eyes. "Later, Butler. I'm feeling a bit—"

Butler stepped into his path. "Artemis, my sister is lying drugged on that couch. She was almost killed. So explain yourself now!"

Artemis realized that he'd been given an order. He considered being offended, the decided that perhaps Butler was right. He had gone too far.

So he explained. He explained the sleeping pill's necessity, the overall plan, how he came up with it, and even threw in a bit of fairy history. Though neither of them knew this was about the point Alex's dosage wore off. Alex's young mind absorbed information like a sponge, he took note of every word and shoved it to a dusty corner or his subconscious to review on another day.

At the end of it Artemis paused so that Butler could process the information.

"Well, am I forgiven?"

Butler sighed. On the chaise lounge, Juliet snored like a drunken sailor. Alex smiled slightly in his sleep, as if the sound soothed him. The manservant smiled himself suddenly.

"Yes, Artemis. All is forgiven. Just one thing..."

"Yes?"

"Never again. Fairies are too…human."

"You're right," said Artemis, the crow's feet deepening around his eyes. "Never again. To be honest, I don't think Alex would have it any other way." At his name, the younger boy snorted loudly—not an infrequent reaction. "We shall restrict ourselves to more tasteful ventures in the future. Legal, I can't promise."

Butler nodded and the corners of Alex's mouth twitched ever so slightly. It was close enough.

"Now, young Master, shouldn't we check on your mother?"

Artemis grew paler, if that were possible. Could the captain have reneged on her promise? She would certainly be entitled to. And if she did there was no telling how Alex would react. His faith in others—one of his best qualities—would be beyond repair.

"Yes. I suppose we should. Let Juliet and Alex rest. They've earned it." Another snort.

He cast his eyes upward, along the stairs. It was too much to hope for that he could trust the fairy. After all, he had held her captive against her will. Of course it was only _now_ he could come up with such a persuasive counter argument. Really, he should've known better: parting with all those millions for the promise of a wish. It really should bother him how much influence his little brother had over him.

Then the loft door opened.

Butler drew his weapon instantly.

"Artemis, behind me. Intruders."

The boy waved him away. "No, Butler. I don't think so."

His heart pounded in his ears, blood pulsed in his fingertips. Could it be? Could it possibly be? A figure appeared on the stairs. Wraithlike in a toweled robe, her hair wet from the shower.

"Arty? Alex?" She called, "Boys, are you there?"

Artemis wanted to answer. He wanted to pull an Alex and race up the grand stairway, arms outstretched. But he couldn't. His cerebral functions had deserted him.

Angeline Fowl descended, one hand resting lightly on the banister. Artemis had forgotten how graceful his mother was. Her bare feet skipped over the carpeted steps and soon she was standing before him.

"Morning, darling," she said brightly, as though it were just another day.

"M-Mother," stammered Artemis.

"Well, give me a hug."

Artemis stepped into his mother's embrace. It was warm and strong. She was wearing perfume. He felt like the boy he was.

"I'm sorry, Arty," she whispered into his ear.

"Sorry for what?"

"For everything. For the last few months, I haven't been myself. But things are going to change. Time to stop living in the past."

Artemis felt a tear on his cheek. He wasn't sure whose tear it was.

"And I don't have presents for you two."

"Presents?" said Artemis.

"Of course," sand his mother, spinning him around. "Don't you know what day it is?"

"Day?"

"It's Christmas Day, you silly boy. Christmas Day! Presents are traditional, are they not?"

Yes, thought Artemis. Traditional. San D'Klass. His brother must've thought the same, he snorted softly enough that his mother didn't notice and his lips twitched again.

"And look at this place. Drab as a mausoleum. Butler?"

The manservant hurriedly pocketed his Sig Sauer.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Get on the phone to Brown Thomas. The platinum set number. Reopen my account. Tell Hélène I want a Yuletide makeover. The works."

"Yes, ma'am. The works."

"Oh, and wake up Juliet. I want my things moved into the main bedroom. That attic is far too dusty."

"Yes, ma'am. Right away, ma'am."

Angeline Fowl linked her eldest son's arm.

"Now, Arty, I want to know everything. First of all, what is your brother doing still asleep?"

"I decided to let him sleep in." said Artemis. "He had an eventful night."

"I see. Would it have anything to do with what happened here?"

"No, remodeling. The old doorway was riddled with damp."

Angeline frowned, completely unconvinced. "I see. And how about school? Have you decided on a career?"

While his mouth answered these everyday questions and his brother snoozed on the couch, Artemis's mind was in turmoil. He was a boy again. His life was going to change utterly. His plans would have to be much more devious than usual if they were to escape his mother's attention, an added dosage of luck to escape his brother's. But it would be worth it.

Angeline Fowl was wrong. She had brought her boys a Christmas Present. Both of them.


	7. Going Underground (part 1)

**Book 2**

**Saint Bartleby's School for Young Gentlemen**

**13 months later**

Butler had been in Artemis Fowl's service since the moment of the boy's birth. He had spent the first night of his charge's life standing guard on the Sisters of Mercy maternity ward. The events were repeated when Alexander was born some four years later—only he stood guard over Fowl Manor and it lacked the formality. For over a decade, Butler had been teacher, mentor, and protector to the young heirs. He'd never been separated from either boy for more than a week, until now. It shouldn't bother him, he knew that. A bodyguard should never become emotionally attached to his charge, official or otherwise: it affects his judgment. But in his private moments, Butler couldn't help thinking of the Fowl boys as the younger brothers he never had.

Butler parked the Bentley Arnage Red Label on the College Avenue. If anything, the Eurasian manservant had bulked up since midterm. With both boys in boarding school, he was spending a lot more time in the gym. Truth be told, Butler was bored pumping iron, but the college authorities absolutely refused to allow him a bunk in Artemis's room—or even a small closet space halfway between his and Alex's. And when the gardener had discovered the bodyguard's hideout just off the seventeenth green, they had banned him from the school grounds altogether.

Artemis slipped through the school's gate, Dr. Po's comments still in his thoughts.

"Problems, sir?" Butler asked, noticing his employer's sour expression.

Artemis ducked into the Bentley's wine-colored leather interior, selecting a bottler of still water from the bar.

"Hardly, Butler. Just another quack spouting psycho-babble."

Butler kept his voice level. "Should I have a word with him?"

"Never mind him now. What news of the _Fowl Star_?"

"We got an e-mail at the manor this morning. It's an MPG."

Artemis scowled. He could not access MPG video files on his mobile phone.

Butler pulled a portable computer from the glove compartment.

"I thought you might be anxious to see the file, so I downloaded it onto this."

He passed the computer over his shoulder. Artemis activated the compact machine, folding out the flat color screen. At first he thought the battery was dead, then he realized he was looking at a field of snow. White on white, with only the faintest shadows to indicate dips and drumlins.

Artemis felt the uneasiness rolling in his gut. Funny how such an innocent image could be so foreboding.

The camera panned upward, revealing a dull twilight sky. Then a black hunched object in the distance. A rhythmic crunching issued through the compact speakers as the cameraman advanced through the snow. The object grew clearer. It was a man sitting on, no, _tied to_, a chair. The ice clinked in Artemis's glass. His hands were shaking.

Then man was dressed in the rags of a once fine suit. Scars branded the prisoner's face like lightning bolts, and one leg appeared to be missing. It was difficult to tell. Artemis's breath was jumpy now, like a marathon runner's.

There was a sign around the man's neck. Cardboard and twine. On the sign was scrawled in thick black letters: _Zdravstvutye syn_. The camera zoomed in on the message for several seconds, then went blank.

"Is that all?"

Butler nodded. "Just the man, and the sign. That's it."

"_Zdravstvutye syn_," muttered Artemis, his accent flawless. Since his father's disappearance, he had been teaching himself the language.

"Should I translate for you?" asked Butler, also a Russian speaker. His accent, however, was not quite so sophisticated. He had picked it up during a five-year stint with an espionage unit in the late eighties.

"No, I know what it means," replied his young employer. "_Zdravstvutye syn_: Hello, son."

Butler pulled the Bentley onto the divided highway. No one spoke for several minutes. Eventually Butler had to ask.

"Do you think it's him, Artemis? Could that man be your father?"

Artemis rewound the MPG, freezing it on the mysterious man's face. He touched the display, sending rainbow distortions across the screen.

"I think so, Butler. But the picture quality is too poor. I can't be certain."

Butler understood the emotions battering his young charge. He, too, had lost someone aboard the _Fowl Star_. His uncle, the major, had been assigned to Artemis's father on that fateful trip. Unfortunately, the major's body had turned up in the Tchersky morgue.

Artemis regained his composure. "I must pursue this, Butler."

"You know what's coming next, of course?"

"Yes. A ransom demand. This is merely the teaser, to get my attention. I need to cash in some of the People's gold. Contact Lars in Zurich, immediately."

Butler accelerated into the fast lane.

"Master Artemis, I have had some experience in these matters."

Artemis did not interrupt. Butler's career before his current charge's birth had been varied, to say the least.

"The pattern with kidnappers is to eliminate all witnesses. Then they will generally try to eliminate each other, to avoid splitting the ransom."

"Your point being?"

"My point being that paying a ransom in no way guarantees you father's safety. If indeed that man is your father. It is quite possible that the kidnappers will take your money and kill all of us."

Artemis studied the camera screen. "You're right, of course. I will have to devise a plan."

With his mind free of the emotional blinders the video had brought on, Artemis noticed a face reflected on the front windshield for the first time.

"What is Alex doing here?" he asked. The ten-year-old was lying in the Bentley's front seat, fast asleep and dressed in dark pants that were worn out in the knees and a simple, pastel blue t-shirt.

"I picked him up yesterday, seems his nightmares have flared up again."

Artemis sighed sadly. His little brother had been having all sorts of problems sleeping ever since their father disappeared.

"Has he seen the video?" he asked worriedly.

"No," Butler answered. "But he refused to stay at the Manor, I figured he'd fall asleep on the way over and I could just put him back to bed when we returned."

Artemis nodded. High speeds made Alex drowsy, he could never stay awake more than a few minutes on long car rides. Plus he was stubborn—if Alex made up his mind to come with the manservant, the best option would be to humor him until he drifted off.

He remembered the first few weeks after their father went missing. Alex put up a bigger fight and better argument to have him found than either of them thought possible—and he wasn't even seven. But in the last couple years, Artemis had to wonder how much his brother really still believed their father was alive. The younger boy didn't fight the doubtful statistics and enormous odds very much these days, he left that to Artemis. While two years earlier he surpassed greatly him in that department.

Alex wasn't close to their father. He'd always know that. Perhaps that was why he could look at their situation with a clearer head, and know when it was time to give up. But why hadn't he? The answer: regardless of what he himself believed, Alex believed in his brother.

The thought made the older boy all the more determined to bring their father home.

* * *

**AN: I'M BACK! Okay, here's my plan: I'll only do individual chapters in segments while I'm still writing up that book, but once I've finished that book I'll chunk all the segments together. This way past chapters are decent sized and better organized, and I can deliver new chapters in a timely manner while still having a life. **

**Sound good? Excellent. Enjoy Book 2!**


	8. Going Underground (part 2)

Butler pulled off the road, opening the estate gates by a remote control. He glanced back at his employer's thoughtful face and down to his brother's sleeping one. Sometimes he thought that in spite of all his contacts, informants, and employees, if Artemis Fowl were an only child he'd be the loneliest boy on the planet.

"We could bring a couple of those fairy blasters," he suggested.

Artemis nodded. "Good idea, but remove the nuclear batteries and put them in a bag with some old games and books. We can pretend they're toys if we're captured."

"Toys I presume you're going to try to pass off as mine."

Artemis and Butler started. While Alex had always been a sound sleeper, it'd only been recently that he'd gotten better at feigning sleep.

Artemis sighed. There went their plan to leave his brother at home.

"How long have you been awake?" he said.

"Coupla minutes." The younger boy replied simply. It was clear he'd been awakened a bit early, he was bleary-eyed and his speech was slightly slurred.

The Bentley Red Tag crunched up the driveway, activating the ground's security lights. Butler put the car in park and undid his seat belt, stepping lithely from the Bentley.

"You need anything special, Artemis?"

Artemis nodded. "Grab some caviar from the kitchen. You wouldn't believe the muck they feed us in Bartleby's for ten thousand a semester."

"And my 'copter," Alex piqued.

Butler smiled fondly at both statements. A teenager asking for caviar. He'd never get used to it. The younger boy's request, however, he'd expected. At Alex's ninth birthday, Artemis had gotten him a Kyosho RC Caliber 30 ARF Helicopter to make up for inadvertently getting him involved in the LEP's siege on Fowl Manor—regardless as to the fact that Alex had passed it off as a dream. The toy quickly became the boy's most prized possession. He loved it so much that he didn't even notice when his brother failed to serve the promised champagne at his more recent birthday.

As the bodyguard closed the door, Artemis leaned forward to address his brother.

"I don't suppose I can convince you to go back inside with Butler and stay home?"

"Nope," Alex replied, popping the _p_.

Artemis simply nodded and leaned back to compose an e-mail on his laptop

_Dear Dr. Guiney,_

_Because of your counselor's tactless interrogation of my little Arty, I have taken him out of school for a course of therapy sessions with real professionals in Mont Gaspard Clinic in Switzerland. I am considering legal action. Do not attempt to contact me, as that would only serve to irritate me further, and when irritated I generally call my attorneys._

_Sincerely,_

_Angeline Fowl_

When he looked back up, sure enough, Alex had fallen back asleep. It would be nice to let Alex watch Principal Guiney's expression when he read the electronic letter. It may even make up for leaving him behind. Unfortunately the button camera he'd planted in the headmaster's office could only be accessed within a one-mile radius.

Butler opened the driver's door, and after a moment slipped into the seat.

Artemis folded the phone into its wallet.

"Captain Short, I presume. Why don't you stop vibrating, and settle into the visible spectrum?"

Holly speckled into view. There was a gleaming gun in her hand.

"Really, Holly, is that necessary?"

Holly snorted. "Well, let's see. Kidnapping, actual bodily harm, extortion, conspiracy to commit murder. I'd say it's necessary."

"Please, Captain Short," smiled Artemis. "I was young and selfish. Believe it or not, I do harbor some doubts over that particular venture."

"Not enough doubts to return the gold?"

"No," admitted Artemis. "Not quite."

"How did you know I was here?"

Artemis steepled his fingers. "There were several clues. One, Butler did not conduct his usual bomb check under the car. Two, he returned without the items he went to fetch. Three, the door was open for several seconds, something no good security man would permit, especially not with one of his charges in the front seat. And four, I detected a slight haze as you entered the vehicle. Elementary, really."

Holly scowled. "Observant little Mud Boy, aren't you?"

"I try. Now, Captain Short, if you would be so kind as to tell me why you are here."

"As if you don't know."

Artemis thought for a moment. "Interesting. I would guess that something has happened. Obviously something that I am being held responsible for." He raised an eyebrow fractionally. An intense expression of emotion for Artemis Fowl—or, as Alex would say, a 'crack in the mask'. "There are humans trading with the People."

"Very impressive," said Holly. "Or it would be, if we didn't both know that you're behind it. And if we can't get the truth out of you, I'm sure your computer files will prove most revealing."

Artemis closed the laptop's lid. "Captain. I realize there is no love lost between us, but I don't have time for this now. It is imperative that you give me a few days to sort out my affairs."

"No can do, Fowl. There are a few people underground would like a word."

Artemis shrugged. "I suppose, after what I did, I can't really expect any consideration."

"That's right. You can't."

"Well then," sighed Artemis. "I don't suppose I have a choice."

Holly smiled. "That's right, Fowl, you don't."

"Shall we go?" Artemis's tone was meek, but his brain was sparking with ideas. Maybe cooperating with the fairies wasn't such a bad idea. They had certain abilities, after all. On the downside, it looked like Alex was tagging along whether he liked it or not.

"Why not?" Holly turned to Butler. "_Drive south. Stay on the back roads_."

"Tara, I presume. I've often wondered where exactly the entrance to E1 was."

"Keep wondering, Mud Boy," muttered Holly. "_Now sleep. All this deduction is wearing me out_."

* * *

**AN: I know, this chapter is mostly re-write, I'm still prepping for the whole 'back to school' thing plus I'm working (thus the reason for this early update). So enjoy and stay tuned for next week!**


	9. Resistance

About halfway to Tara the front right wheel hit a pothole, jarring the occupant of the passenger seat awake. Alex was genuinely surprised to find himself still in the Bentley. He knew when he woke up it'd be in his bed the moment he realized he was nodding off, likely by Juliet when she came by to drag him along to her spa trip with Mum.

He yawned and rubbed his eyes. He could only guess that plan hadn't worked out.

"Butler, are we almost to the airport?" he asked, twisting to look at the manservant.

Butler didn't answer, just kept his eyes on the road and his hands on the wheel. Before Alex could repeat the question a vaguely familiar cloud of television static floated between them.

Holly cursed herself. She'd been so concerned with Artemis that she hadn't even noticed Alex until they were well off estate grounds. Up until now she'd been hoping the younger boy would stay asleep until they got below ground. Now she'd have to deal with him.

Dropping her shield, Holly looked him straight in the eye before speaking. "_No, and we aren't going to get there for a while. So why don't you just go back to sleep?_"

Alex's eyes widened to the size of saucers and he leaned back onto the heels of his hands at her materialization. Perfect. She had him. She could see the magic from the _mesmer_ clouding in his eyes.

Then, as if physically feeling it, Alex blinked furiously and the magic vanished.

"So I take it you weren't a dream?" Alex asked casually. Then, not waiting for an answer, muttered, "Figures."

Holly was stunned. What just happened? The _m__esmer_ was her only option to contain the human without lethal force. Unwilling to use her buzz baton on a child, she decided to try again.

"_No, I wasn't. But we do have a long ways to go. You should still go back to sleep, I'll wake you up when we get there."_

This time the magic danced on the skin _around_ his eyes for a moment before dying out again. Alex didn't even blink.

"Sorry, Captain. I've already slept for about three or four hours, I've had my fill for the day."

Holly groaned internally. It seemed that _mesmer_izing the big one had taken more out of her than she realized.

"Okay look, some of my higher ups have some questions for Artemis. Now I can't have you awake when we get to our destination so—"

"Alright," Alex interrupted. "I'll see what I can do." Then he tilted the seat back and closed his eyes. In a few moments it looked as though he'd never awoken.

Holly sighed in relief, something she wouldn't have done if she knew who good Alex was at feigning sleep.

* * *

**AN: Yay! Second original scene!**


	10. Fowl is Fair (part 1)

**The Lower Elements, Haven City, Police Plaza, Detention Cell 4**

While Alex didn't fall back asleep he did manage a light doze which wore off in the Haven shuttleport. However, Alex was a Fowl and opted to continue feigning unconsciousness until the opportune moment.

That moment presented itself when Artemis's interrogation, of course, yielded nothing—same with his Retimager results.

"Another negative. Sorry, Captain, but Master Fowl here is innocent. He's never even seen a goblin, much less traded with the B'wa Kell."

"You're surprised?" Alex chirped from his seat, rubbing some lingering sleep out of his eyes with his newly freed hand.

In an instant all three fairies eyes were on him.

"Ever since the _incident_ last year, Arty's been at boarding school with me in Wicklow. It's a bit difficult to get away with…anything really there. Our mum made sure of that. Besides, even _I_ know that smugglings are get-rich-slow schemes. And at the moment our family doesn't have the means, much less the _time_, to pull one off."

Root decided that the possibility of a human left awake on the way underground was a fair trade for a witness willing to talk.

"And what about the big one? Could he have been a go between?"

"Butler? No, he hardly ever gets into trouble without Arty around. At least as far as I know. Besides, if they were running sort of operation behind my back, Arty would need to scare away a new school psychologist every week to keep himself entertained."

Foaly clopped over to the boy's other side. "You wouldn't mind if I check?"

Alex shook his head. The suction cups latched onto the younger boy's eyes and he fell limp.

"Well?" Root asked as Foaly ran the search.

"We had better luck on the older one," the centaur replied. "And in any case his story checks out. I already did the Mud Man with the Retimager. Nothing."

"They could've mind-wiped them."

Foaly removed the seals from Alex's eyes. "That's the beauty of this baby. Mind-wipes don't work. The Retimager operates on actual physical evidence. You'd have to scrub the retinas."

"Anything on the human's computer?"

"Plenty," replied Foaly. "But nothing incriminating. Not a single mention of goblins or batteries. Face it, the LEP have pulled in the wrong Mud Men. Wipe 'em and send 'em home."

Holly nodded. The commander didn't.

"Wait a minute. I'm thinking."

* * *

**AN: A new chapter for a new school year! Hope everyone got off to a good start. He next chapter may be delayed (due to the start of a new school year), but it's difficult to tell at this point. Until next week!**


	11. Fowl is Fair (part 2)

Artemis messaged the puffy skin beneath his eyes while Alex scratched his own set with the collar of his shirt. The younger boy didn't respond very well to drugs of any kind.

"Sedative in the seals?" The older boy said, glancing at Foaly. "Micro needles?"

The centaur was impressed. "You're pretty sharp for a Mud Boy."

Alex irritation then seemed to switch to the cresant-shaped nodule fixed above his ear.

"What is this?"

"Translator. Speaking in tongues gives some people a headache." Foaly answered nodding at the commander.

The younger boy fingered the device, as it meaning to remove it, but Artemis caught his hand.

"I see. Now, how can I be of service?"

"What makes you think we need help from you, human?" growled Root around the butt of his cigar.

Artemis smirked while Alex looked miffled at being cut from the mission before it even began.

"I have a feeling, Commander, that if you did not need something from me, my brother and I would be regaining consciousness in our own beds, with absolutely no memory of our encounter."

Foaly hid his grin behind a hairy hand.

"You're lucky you're not waking up in a cell," said Holly.

"Still bitter, Captain Short? Can't we wipe the slate clean?"

Holly's glare—and the soft slap of Alex's face palm—was all the answer he needed.

Artemis sighed. "Very well. I shall guess. There are humans trading with the Lower Elements. And you need Butler to track these merchants down. Close enough?"

The fairies were silent for a moment as Alex raised a thick eyebrow at them. Hearing it from the older boy suddenly brought the reality home to them.

"Close enough," admitted Root. "Okay, Foaly, bring the Mud Boys up to speed."

The consultant loaded a file from the LEP central server. A series of Network News clips flashed up on the plasma screen. The reporter was a middle-aged elf with a forelock the size of a tidal wave.

"Downtown Haven," crooned the reporter. "Another contraband seizure by the LEP. Hollywood laser disks with an estimated street value of five hundred ounces of gold. The B'wa Kell goblin triad is suspected."

"Is that bad?" Alex asked.

"It gets worse," Root said grimly.

The reporter appeared again. This time flames billowed from the windows of a warehouse behind him. His forelock looked a bit crispy.

"Tonight the B'wa Kell have staked their claim to the East Bank by torching a warehouse used by Koboi Laboratories. Apparently the _pixie with the golden touch_ refused to pay their protection fee."

The flames were replaced by another news byte, this time featuring an angry mob.

"Controversy today outside Police Plaza as the public protests the LEP's failure to deal with the goblin problem. Many ancient houses have been put out of business by the B'wa Kell's racketeering. Most heavily targeted have been Koboi Laboratories, who have suffered six counts of sabotage in the past month alone."

Foaly froze the image. The public did not look happy.

"Got it, bad." Alex breathed.

"The thing you two have to understand is that goblins are dumb. I'm not insulting them, it's scientifically proven. Brains no bigger than rats."

Artemis nodded. "So who's organizing them?"

Root ground out his cigar. "We don't know. But it's getting worse. The B'wa Kell have graduated from petty crime to an all-out war on the police. Last night we intercepted a delivery of batteries from the surface. These batteries are being used to power outlawed softnose laser weapons."

"And Captain Short thought that I might be the Mud Man on the other end of the deal."

"Can you blame me?" muttered Holly.

Alex didn't seem to hear the comment. "Well these are _batteries_, how do you know they're not just snatching them from chain shops?"

Foaly chuckled. "I don't think you understand just how stupid goblins are. Let me give you an example. One of the B'wa Kell generals—and this is their top fairy—was caught trying to pass off a forged credit card, because he signed his own name. No, whoever is behind this would need a human contact to make sure the deals weren't fouled up."

"So you want us to find out who that contact is," Alex said.

"And more importantly, how much he knows." Artemis finished.

As he spoke, Artemis's mind was racing. He could work this entire situation to his advantage. The People's powers would be valuable aces to hold in a negotiation with mobsters. The seeds of a plan began to sprout in his brain. All he had to do was find a way to keep Alex a safe distance away.

Root nodded reluctantly. "That's it. I can't risk putting LEPrecon agents aboveground. Who knows what technology the goblins have traded? I could be walking my agents into a trap. As humans, you three could blend in."

"No offense," Alex said. "But I don't think Butler fits the definition of "blend in" very well."

"At least he doesn't have four legs and a tail." observed Foaly.

"Fair point." Alex conceded.

"There is no doubt that if any man alive can track down you rogue trader, it's Butler." Artemis said. "But…"

Here we go, thought Holly. Artemis Fowl does nothing for nothing.

"But?" prompted Root.

"But if you want my help, I will require something in return."

"What exactly?" said Root warily.

"We need to get to Russia," Alex interjected. "The Arctic Circle. We need help with a rescue mission."

Root frowned as Artemis put a hand on his little brother's shoulder. "Northern Russia is not good for us. We can't shield there because of the radiation."

"Those are the conditions," said Artemis. "The man I intend to rescue is mine and Alex's father. For all I know, it's already too late. So I really don't have time to negotiate."

Artemis sounded sincere. And Alex looked anxious to the point of panic. Even Holly found it hard to be skeptical for a moment. But you never knew with Artemis Fowl, this could all be part of yet another scheme. Root made an executive decision.

"Deal," he said, holding out his hand.

They shook. Fairy and human. A historic moment.

"Good," said Root. "Now, Foaly, wake the big one and give that goblin shuttle a quick systems check."

"What about me?" asked Holly. "Back to stakeout duty?"

If Root had not been a commander, he probably would have cackled. "Oh no, Captain. You're the best shuttle pilot we have. You're going to Paris."

* * *

**AN: Okay I got a schedule change recently so my Wednesdays are gonna be PACKED. So from now until the end of the semester, updates every Tuesday!**


	12. Photo Opportunity (part 1)

**Chute E37, Haven**

The unlikely allies took the goblin shuttle up E37. Captain Short was none too pleased. And, upon seeing the craft, Alex could see why. While he'd be the first to admit he was nowhere near an expert, he could tell the craft wasn't sturdy.

"Uh, is this thing…safe?" He asked as they boarded.

"Well, it worked for the goblins." Artemis replied, setting a hand on his shoulder. Then he spotted the Captain in the cockpit, seeming to have a similar conversation with Foaly. "Excuse me a moment."

"Arty, what are you doing?" He asked cautiously.

"Just going to see if I can get a bit more information—it could help with the rescue mission."

With that Artemis ducked into the cockpit, settling into the copilot's seat, which Captain Short looked even less pleased about than the shuttle.

Alex sighed. "They're gonna kill each other aren't they?"

"…Probably." Butler rumbled.

"Okay, Mud Boy, listen up. I'm only saying this once." The Captain's voice said from the cockpit.

Artemis sat up in his seat. Butler ducked his head into the space. He could smell a war story. Alex quickly followed by climbing up the man's back and settling on his shoulders—admittedly not an uncommon position.

"Over the past two centuries, with the advances in human technology, the LEP have been forced to shut down over sixty terminals. We pulled out of northern Russia in the sixties. The entire Kola peninsula is a nuclear disaster. The People have no tolerance for radiation, we never built up a resistance. In truth, there wasn't much to close down. Just a grade-three terminal and a couple of cloaking projectors. The People aren't very fond of the Arctic. A bit frosty. Everybody was glad to be leaving. So, to answer your question: there's one unmanned terminal, with little or no aboveground facilities, located about twenty klicks north of Murmansk."

Foaly's voice blurted from the intercom, interrupting what was dangerously close to a civil conversation.

"Okay, Captain. You've got a clear run to the subway. There's still a bit of waffle from the last flare, so go easy on the thrusters."

With that, Butler dragged him back to the passenger area as Captain Short pulled down her mouth mike to respond. The bodyguard promptly strapped the younger boy in before taking his own seat.

Captain Short gunned the makeshift shuttle down the magnetized approach rail. The fins shook, sending twin waves of sparks cascading past the portholes. Catching his eye, Alex leaned closer to the porthole at his side. Their approach down the rail reminded him of an amusement park ride he'd gone on with his friends a couple weeks earlier. He wasn't sure if it was the restraining harness strung over his chest and shoulders or the metal rail underneath them.

"Okay. Well, let's see what this bucket can do."

Or it could be the fact that Captain Short was driving.

"Don't go trying for any records, Holly," Foaly said over the speakers. "That ship is not built for speed. I've seen more aerodynamic dwarves."

The Captain grunted. Alex got the feeling "going easy" wasn't in her nature. Especially not with his brother aboard.

Finally, the service tunnel opened into the main chute.

"Whoa." Alex gasped, pressing his palms and cheeks to the window—resulting in a warning from Artemis that he didn't hear. The vertical-turned tunnel was enormous, you could drop five Fowl Manors, with all of the surrounding lands, down this tunnel and still have plenty of room at the sides. The crimson glow from beneath them and the sharp rocks constantly smacking into them only added to the feeling he was on some sort of ride.

Then the shuttle's engines lit up and the four of them tumbled downward.

He guessed that the ride was starting.

On instinct he pressed his head into the headrest of his seat and gripped the harness straps at his shoulders. Even through the thick straps he could feel the G-force lifting him out of his seat.

The Captain Short must've decided to take Foaly's apparent advice and the craft turned horizontal and headed upward.

Both Artemis and Butler sighed in relief (which, under normal circumstances, would've greatly surprised him). Alex meant to do the same, but what came out instead was an airy, exhilarated laugh. Which earned him funny looks from the pilot and both passengers.

* * *

**AN: Well I just _love _school, anyone else? You know, that thing you have to do to get anywhere in your life that takes precedence over your story?**

**Yeah, I'm running a bit behind lately. If I weren't, I'd think I'd try to make sure Photo Opportunity wasn't spread out over too many segments. But I'm a responsible person so I can't do that! So the next couple chapters may be a bit shorter than usual.**

**Until next week, faithful readers!**


	13. Photo Opportunity (part 2)

**E37 Shuttleport**

Holly steered the slammer through the chute's final section. A proximity sensor in the shuttle's nose set off the landing lights.

"Hmm," muttered Holly.

Artemis squinted through the quartz windshield.

"A problem?"

"No. it's just that those lights shouldn't be working. There hasn't been a power source in the terminal since the last century."

"Our goblin friends, no doubt."

Holly frowned. "Doubtful. It takes half a dozen goblins to turn on a glow cube. Wiring a shuttleport takes real know-how. Elfin know-how."

"The plot thickens," said Artemis. If he'd had a beard, he would have stroked it. "I smell a traitor. Now who would have access to all this technology, and a motive for selling it?"

Holly pointed the shuttle's cone toward the landing nodes.

"We'll find out soon enough. You just get me a live trader, and my _mesmer_ will soon have him spilling his guts."

The shuttle docked with a pneumatic hiss at the bay's rubber collar formed an airtight seal against the outer hull. Butler was out of his chair before the seatbelt light winked off, ready for action. Alex, however, seemed to have more trouble with the Fairy buckles. If he got any more frustrated, he would resort to the techniques he used to get out of his car seat as a toddler—mainly kicking his legs, punching the buttons, or knowing at the straps.

"Just don't kill anyone," warned Holly. "That's not how the LEP like to operate. Anyway, dead Mud Men don't rat on their partners." She brought up a schematic depicting Paris's old city on the wall screen as Butler helped Alex detangle himself from his harness. "Okay," she said, pointing to a bridge across the Seine. "'We're here. Under this bridge, two hundred feet from Notre Dame."

"The football team or the cathedral?" Alex asked as Butler lifted him out of his seat.

"The cathedral," Holly answered. "The dock is disguised as a bridge support. Stand in the doorway until I give you a green light. We have to be careful here. The last thing we need is some Parisian seeing you emerge from a brick wall."

"You're not accompanying us?" asked Artemis.

"Orders," said Holly, scowling. "Apparently this could be a trap. Who knows what hardware is pointed at the terminal door? Lucky for you, you're expendable. Irish tourists on holiday, you'll fit right in."

"Yeah, lucky us." Alex chirped, half nervous and half sarcastic, from his brother's side.

"What leads do we have?" Artemis inquired.

Holly slid a disk into a console. "Foaly stuck his Retimager on the goblin prisoner. Apparently he has seen this human."

The captain brought up a mug shot on the screen.

"Foaly got a match on his Interpol files. Luc Carrère. Disbarred attorney, does a bit of P.I. work."

She printed off a card. "Here's his address. He just moved to a swanky new apartment. It could be nothing, but at least we have somewhere to start. I need you to immobilize him, and show him this." Holly handed the bodyguard what looked like a diver's watch.

"What's that?" Alex asked.

"A com-screen. Butler, you just put it in front of Carrère's face and I can _mesmer_ize the truth out of him from down here. It also contains one of Foaly's doodads. A personal shield. The Safetynet. A prototype, you'll be delighted to know. You can have the honor of testing it. Touch the screen, and the micro reactor generates a six-foot diameter sphere of tri-phased light. No good for solids but laser bursts or concussion shocks are okay."

"Uh, we don't get a lot of either of those up here." Alex chirped.

Holly shrugged. "Well don't use it. Do I care?"

Butler studied the tiny instrument. "Six-foot diameter? What about the bits that are sticking out?"

Holly thumped the manservant playfully in the stomach. "My advice to you, big man: curl up in a ball."

"I'll try to remember that," said Butler, cinching the strap around his wrist. "You three try not to kill each other while I'm gone."

The Fowl boys were surprised, something that didn't happen very often in Artemis's case.

"While _you're _gone? Surely, you don't expect me to stay behind."

Alex's expression soured at the singular pronoun while simply tapped his forehead.

"Don't worry, you two will see everything on the iris-cam."

Artemis fumed for several moments before settling into a passenger chair. Unlike Alex, whose fuming time was better described as "infinite".

"I know," the older boy said. "I would only slow you down, and that in turn would slow down the search for my father."

"Of course, if you insist…"

"No. This is no time for childishness."

Butler smiled gently. Childishness was one thing Master Artemis was hardly likely to be accused of.

"_I insist!_" Alex yelp abruptly. Then he leapt out of his seat and made a beeline for the exit at a speed Holly wouldn't have though was possible for him. Though she supposed that was due to the fact that every other time she'd seen him he was either asleep or on the verge of becoming so. Alex was fast, and strangely agile, but he wasn't a match for Butler's reflexes. He got about a foot past the manservant before the man snatched him up. He kicked in his arms, and even _growled_, for a moment before crossing his arms tightly over his chest and fuming as Butler deposited him back in his seat.

"How long do I have?" Butler asked, tousling Alex's hair apologetically.

Holly shrugged. "As long as it takes. Obviously, the sooner the better, for everybody's sake." She glanced at the boys. "Especially their father's."

Alex's disappointed scowl softened a bit.

* * *

**AN: Oh, Alex. You can outwit state-of-the-art security systems but are helpless with buckles.**

**Until next week! Be sure to review!**


	14. Photo Opportunity (part 3)

Aside from the obvious issue of the boy's safety, one of the reasons Butler had wanted Alex to stay behind was to insure his request for Holly and Artemis not to kill each other was honored. The younger boy, naturally, knew this, and it was exactly why he'd wanted to accompany the manservant so badly. Besides, he'd never seen Paris.

One of the disadvantages to being the youngest was that his family, Fowl or Butler, tended to over shelter him Alex had seen little, if anything, outside of Ireland.

One of the advantages, however, was the fact that he could sulk about it. Artemis _had_ to be logical, he _had_ to recognize why he couldn't get his way in this situation, and he _had_ to accept that and move on. Alex had no such responsibilities. He could fume for as long as he wished—even if could understand why.

Alex's disappointed scowl had its own way of keeping his companions in line. More than once he caught the Captain looking at him wearily out of the corner of her eye, she made no comments and looked away almost immediately every time he caught her. Artemis was similar but in a different way. He threw sideways glances at him whenever his gaze wasn't locked on the monitor, but out of slight sympathy and frank concern, and when Alex caught him he would hold the gaze coolly for a moment before returning to the monitor. As for the silence, well Artemis was his brother, he didn't really need to say anything.

So the three of them stood there in mutual silence watching the feed from Butler's iris cam. Alex was reluctant to change his mood, but no one had the energy to be mad or upset _all the time_. And Paris _was_ amazing.

While it didn't take Butler long to get to rue Bonaparte, the Parisian was not nearly as punctual.

"Is he even home?" Alex asked after he got bored looking of the view of Carrère's balcony.

"He's only been there for a few minutes," Artemis replied, vaguely amused.

"Well how long do we have to _wait_?"

Artemis rolled his eyes, a smirk playing on the corners of his mouth. "Just be patient, Alex." He said, placing a hand on the younger boy's shoulder.

Holly watched the exchange with surprise and slight awe. It wasn't something she would've expected from the Fowl boys—or Artemis, at least. It was just so…_normal_.

Unfortunately, "being patient", in this scenario, didn't work well with Alex, as his brother knew. A few minutes later he'd taken to fiddling with a few of the paperclips on the desk molding them into various shapes. Once he managed to get one into an L shape, crunching one end down to the table like a catapult. Suddenly, the tiny piece of contorted metal shot up from its place under Alex's fist and bounced off of Artemis's cheek. The older boy blinked in surprise at the impact before turning, stone-faced to his brother.

"Really?"

Alex flashed his widest, most innocent-looking grin.

That managed to hold him for about twenty minutes. Then, with the paper clips confiscated, he began banging his head on the surface of the desk. Artemis, still stone-faced, simply retrieved one of the leftover passenger pillows and placed it under the boy's forehead as if this were an everyday occurrence. After a few moments Alex ceased, resting his face on the pillow.

"You realize this is defeating the purpose." Alex commented, his voice muffled by the fabric.

"That was my intention, seeing how the purpose is to crack your skull open." The older boy said.

Holly found herself suddenly giving the scene her undivided attention, just from the surprise at hearing Artemis crack a joke. Alex glanced up from the pillow, glaring at his brother. Artemis met the gaze, trying, and miserably failing, to conceal his grin. Alex yanked the small pillow out from under him and rapidly began smacking his brother with it. Artemis, though caught off guard at the first hit, immediately threw his arms up to block the second and began backing out of range, to which Alex responded by following him.

Holly was unsure what to do. Diplomacy, especially amongst young siblings, had never been her strong point. Then her eyes caught the monitor, where a chunky Parisian was leaning against the ornate railing. A quick ID check confirmed it.

"That's our boy." She said through the intercom. In an instant the Fowl brothers were back in their respective seats, postures erect and faces blank.

* * *

**AN: HUMOR CHAP!**

**Okay be honest, how patient were you when you were 10?**


	15. Photo Opportunity (part 4)

"Is he alone?"

"I can't tell." The intercom replied in a robotic monotone.

"Just a sec." Holly said before her fingers went to the keyboard, pretending not to notice Alex looking over her shoulder. After a second the monitor visual jumped into a completely different spectrum.

"Infrared," Alex chirped.

"That's right," Holy said. "You know the drill. Hot equals red, cold equals blue. It's not a very strong system, but the lens should penetrate an outer wall."

"Uh, what exactly would fit your description of a 'strong system'?" Alex asked as Butler looked over the apartment.

"Okay. All clear, I'm going in." the intercom said.

"Affirmative. Watch your step. This is a bit too convenient."

"Agreed."

On the screen, Butler rose from his seat to cross the cobbled street to the four-story apartment building. Artemis, sensing his brother would return to head banging if something exciting didn't happen, decided to engage in some trivia.

"Well Alex, you're an expert in this area. How should Butler best get past the building's security?"

"You mean the intercom? Easy, put a shoulder to the door."

"Why?"

"The building's two centuries old Arty. If I can do it with the pantry door at home, it should be no problem for Butler."

Another mystery solved, Artemis thought as the events played out on the screen exactly as Alex predicted.

"While we're on the subject, why exactly do you need to break into the pantry at three in the morning every night?" Artemis inquired as Butler dealt with a group of teenagers on the stairwell.

"If you fell asleep and missed dinner every other night you'd be pretty hungry at that time too." Alex replied, still looking bored.

Artemis wasn't surprised at hunger being his brother's motivation—Alex was _always _hungry. He _was_, however, surprised at how the boy had done the act to retrieve food on his own, rather than simply wake Butler or himself to get him something. In the earlier days of their father's disappearance that was just what he'd done; Butler's brain had learned to wake itself up at the sounds of soft, 6-year-old footsteps approaching his room. Lately though his brother seemed to favor ramming down doors than disrupting their sleep cycles. It seemed to bring home how much Alex had grown up over the last three years.

"That doesn't look good."

Alex's voice brought Artemis back to the present, where he noticed on the monitor screen the door to Carrère's apartment was ajar.

* * *

**AN: Poor Artemis, realizing his little brother's growing up.**

**Actions coming up! Be sure to review and I'll see you next week!**


	16. Photo Opportunity (part 5)

2

Butler entered cautiously, the rest of them watching through the man's viewpoint on the monitor. The apartment walls were lined with open crates. Battery packs and fire suits poked through the Styrofoam packing. The floor was littered with thick wads of currency.

"Are you a friend?"

Alex shrank behind the desk at the line. It was Carrère. He was slumped in an oversized armchair, a weapon of some kind nestled on his lap. Needless to say it looked sketchy, and Alex never handled scary scenes very well.

Butler approached cautiously. "Take it easy."

The Parisian raised the weapon, making Alex shrink down further. Artemis put a hand on his shoulder.

"I asked if you were a friend."

Butler cocked his own pistol. "No need to shoot."

"Stand still," ordered Carrère. "I'm not going to shoot you, just take your photo maybe. The voice told me."

Alex looked up at his brother questioningly at the last comment.

"Get closer. I need to see the eyes." Holly said into the intercom.

Obediently Butler holstered his weapon, taking a step forward. "You see, no one has to get hurt here."

"I'm going to enhance the image," said Holly. "This may sting a bit."

Holly pressed a few more buttons on the keyboard before the image on the screen was suddenly magnified by four. To Alex it was quite impressive since he was still baffled the iris cams could get audio feed much less infrared vision. For a moment he forgot about the danger of the situation.

"He's been mesmerized," Holly pronounced after briefly studying the man's pupils. "Several times. You see how the iris has actually become jagged. You mesmerize a human too much, and they can go blind."

Both boys studied the image themselves.

"What does that mean? You can's mesmerize him again?" Alex asked.

"It means that it doesn't matter." Holly answered. "He's already under a spell. That particular Mud Man is just following orders. His brain doesn't know a thing about it."

Well, the fear was back.

Artemis moved to grab the mike stand, but Alex was faster. "Butler! Get out! Now!"

Butler didn't move and Holly managed to get the microphone out of the younger boy's grip.

"Butler, listen carefully. That gun pointed at you is a wide-bore low-frequency blaster. We call it a bouncer; it was developed for tunnel skirmishes. If he pulls that trigger, a wide-arc laser is going to ricochet off the walls until it hits something."

"I see," the robot-voice intercom said.

"What did you say?" Carrère asked. Alex shrunk back behind the desk.

"Nothing. I just don't like having my photo taken." The intercom said.

A spark of Luc's greedy personality surfaced. "I like that watch on your wrist. It looks expensive. Is it a Rolex?"

"You don't want this," the intercom said again, Butler seemed reluctant to part with the com-screen. "It's cheap. A piece of trash."

"Just give me the watch,"

Butler peeled back the strap on the instrument on his wrist.

"If I give you this watch, maybe you can tell me about all these batteries."

"It is you! Say _cheese_," squealed Carrère. Alex made a similar sound, abeight a shorter and more frightened one, as the man forced his pudgy thumb into the undersized trigger guard and pulled.

What happened next may've made more sense to Butler, as the man who initiated it, but from the shuttle everything just happened too fast. Suddenly, the Safetynet was right next to the bouncer, containing the blast in a six-foot static bubble. It was quite a sight, one that distracted Carrère long enough for Butler to disarm him.

"You can open your eyes now."

It was then that Holly realized that at some point Alex had abandoned his seat and hidden himself behind Artemis, his head sheltered by the older boy's blazer and his face shoved into his side. At his brother's words Alex hesitantly turned to look up at the screen.

"Start the engines," the intercom said. "The Sureté are going to be all over this place in minutes. Foaly's Safetynet didn't stop the noise."

"Roger that." Holly replied. "What about Monsieur Carrère?"

Butler dumped the dazed Parisian flat on the carpet.

"Luc and I are going to have a little chat."


	17. Connecting the Dots (part 1)

**Haven City, Police Plaza**

Alex watched from the side as Root chewed out Holly. "Congratulations Captain, you managed to lose some LEP technology."

"Are the accusations part of your usual debriefing?" he whispered to Foaly.

"Only for Holly. We consider it practice for a tribunal." The centaur answered.

It made sense, Holly seemed prepared. "Not strictly my fault, sir. The human was mesmerized, and you ordered me not to leave the shuttle. I had no control over the situation."

"Good answer," Alex commented.

"Ten out of ten," Foaly ruled almost simultaneously. "Anyway the Safetynet has a self-destruct, like everything I send into the field."

"Quiet, civilian," snapped the Commander, but his relief drained the venom.

They were in a simple conference room, probably reserved for public use. Alex guessed the LEP weren't ready for them to see any of their real operations just yet.

Root jabbed an intercom button on his desk.

"Trouble, are you out there?"

"Yessir."

"Okay. Now listen, I want you to stand down the alert. Send the teams into the deep tunnels, see if we can't root you a few goblin gangs. There are still plenty of loose ends. Who's organizing the B'wa Kell for one, and for what reason?"

Alex considered himself a self-taught expert on when he should and shouldn't do something. When to stay put and when to go explore, when to follow rules and when to break them. This was one of those times when the ruling was to keep his mouth shut. The quicker this operation was wrapped up the quicker he and Artemis could find their father. Alex knew Artemis knew this too, but unlike him his brother would say something. The Paris event was suspicious, and the older boy was wired differently than him. Artemis's instinct was to speak up while Alex's was to keep quiet.

"Does anyone else think this is too easy? It's just what you all wanted to happen. Not to mention the fact that there could be more mesmerized humans up there."


	18. Connecting the Dots (part 2)

Root didn't appear to appreciate Artemis's insight.

"Look, Fowl, you've don't what we asked. The Paris connection has been broken off. There won't be any more illegal shipments coming down that chute, I assure you. In fact we have doubled security on all chutes, whether they're operational or not. The important thing is that whoever is trading with the humans hasn't told them about the People. There will, of course, be a major investigation, but that's an internal problem. So don't you worry your juvenile head about it. Concentrate on growing some bristles."

Alex hurriedly signaled Foaly to interrupt before Artemis could respond. "About Russia," the centaur said, placing his torso between Artemis and the Commander. "I've got a lead."

Alex suddenly appeared at his brother's side. "He traced the e-mail."

"But that's been spiked. Untraceable." Artemis said.

Foaly chuckled openly. "Spiked? Don't make me laugh. You Mud Men and you communications systems. You're still using wires, for heaven's sake. If it's been sent I can trace it."

"So, where did you trace it to?"

By now Foaly had switched into lecture mode. "Every computer has a signature, as individual as a fingerprint. Networks too leave micro traces, depending on the age of the wiring. Everything's molecular, and if you pack gigabytes of data into a little cable, some of that cable is going to wear off."

Alex was fascinated, and wishing his school courses were this easy to follow. Butler, however, was growing impatient. "Listen Foaly. Time is of the essence. Mister Fowl's life could hang in the balance. So get to the point before I start breaking things."

The centaur's first impulse was to laugh. Surely, the human was joking. Then he remembered what Butler had done to Trouble Kelp's Retrieval squad, and decided to proceed directly to the point.

"Very well, Mud Man. Keep your hair on."

Well, almost directly to the point.

"I put the MPG through my filters. Uranium residue points to northern Russia."

"Now, there's a shock."

"I'm not finished," said Foaly. "Watch and learn."

The centaur brought up a satellite photo of the Arctic Circle on the wall screen, with every keystroke the highlighted area shrank.

"Uranium means Severomorsk. Or somewhere within a hundred miles. The copper wiring is from an old network. Early twentieth century, pathed up over the years. The only match is Murmansk as easy as connecting the dots."

Artemis sat forward in his chair. Alex's neck stretched upward just a bit.

"There are two hundred and eighty-four thousand land lines on that network." Foaly had to stop for a laugh. "_Land lines._ Barbarians."

Butler cracked his knuckles loudly and Alex made anxious gestures to continue.

"Ah, so two hundred and eighty-four thousand land lines. I wrote up a program to search for hits on our MPG. Two possible matches. One: the Hall of Justice."

"I don't think so." Alex said.

"The other?" Artemis asked.

"The other line is registered to a Mikhael Vassikin on Lenin Prospekt."

Artemis felt his stomach churn. He glanced sideways at Alex, the younger boy shot him a glare at the unspoken question.

"And what do we know about Mikhael Vassikin?"

* * *

**AN: Protective Artemis is Protective. Also just a heads up that next week's update may be delayed, it depends on if my homework load lightens up between it and Halloween coming up I haven't been able to write much for this story. Ah well, we'll see.**


	19. Connecting the Dots (part 3)

**A/N: *glances at fic* Has it really been THAT long since I updated? *double checks calendar* Yep, it's been that long.  
****Sorry for the unexpected hiatus, I discovered Tumblr for the first time shortly after I started college and got sucked back into Transformers.  
Anyway, good news: this update will include two chapters so I can finish up Connecting the Dots and move onto To Russia With Gloves; bad news: I'll be switching to only updating every other week cuz like I said, college.  
****Again, sorry for the absence, enjoy the continuation!**

* * *

Foaly wiggled his fingers like a concert pianist. "I ran a search on my own intelligence files archives. I like to keep tabs on Mud Man so-called intelligence agencies. Quite a few mentions of you by the way, Butler."

The manservant tried to look innocent, but his facial muscles couldn't quite pull it off. The fact that Alex was struggling to hid his own mischievous smile barely a foot from him didn't help.

"Mikhael Vassikin is ex-KGB, now working for the Mafiya. The official term is _khuligany_. An enforcer. Not high level but not street trash either. Vassikin's boss is a Murmansker known as Britva. The group's main source of income comes from the kidnapping of European businessmen. In the past five years they have abducted six Germans and a Swede."

Artemis opened his mouth to ask something, but Alex beat him to it. "How many were rescued?"

Foaly consulted his statistics. "None," he said. "And in two cases, the negotiators went missing. Eight million dollars in lost ransom."

Noticing Alex now looked almost as pale as his brother, Butler struggled from a tiny fairy chair.

"Right, enough talk. I think it's time for Mister Vassikin was introduced to my friend, Mister Fist."

Melodramatic, thought Artemis as Alex cracked a smile. But I couldn't have put it better myself.

"Yes, old friend. Soon enough. But I have no wish to add you to the list of lost negotiators. These men are smart. So we must be smarter. We have advantages that none of our predecessors had. We know who the kidnapper is, we know where he lives, and most importantly, we have fairy magic."

Alex glanced at Commander Root. "We do have fairy magic, right?"

"You have this fairy at any rate," replied the commander. "I won't force any of my people to go to Russia. But I could use some backup." He glanced at Holly. "What do you think?"

"Of course I'm coming," said Holly. "I'm the best shuttle pilot you have."


	20. Connecting the Dots (part 4)

**Chute 93**

Julius Root always traveled in style. In this instance he had commandeered the Atlantean ambassador's shuttle. All leather and gold. Seats softer than a gnome's behind, and drag buffers that negated all but the most serious jolts.

Needless to say, the Atlantean ambassador hadn't been all that thrilled about handing over the starter chip. But it was difficult to refuse the commander when his fingers were drumming a tattoo on the tri-barreled blaster strapped to his hip. So now the humans and their two elfin chaperones were climbing E93 in some considerable comfort.

Artemis helped himself to a bottle of still water from the chiller cabinet and passed another to Alex.

"This tastes unusual," the older boy commented. "Not unpleasant, but different."

Alex, meanwhile, downed his bottle's contents. He couldn't see what Artemis was talking about, it tasted delicious.

"_Clean_ is the word you're searching for," said Holly. "You wouldn't believe how many filters we have to put it through to purge the Mud Man from it."

"No bickering, Captain Short," warned Root. Artemis though, had stopped paying attention about halfway through, more concerned with getting Alex not to engulf the entire bottle. He succeeded, but the younger boy shot his tongue in his direction. "I want a smoot mission. Now suit up, all of you. We won't last five minutes out there without protection."

The captain cracked open an overhead locker. "Fowl, front and center."

Alex inheirited a lot from his mother, including her 'Arty, behave' look, which he shot at his brother as he stepped forward with a bemused smile twitching at his lips.

Holly pulled several cubic packages from the locker.

"What are you, about a six?"

Artemis shrugged. He wasn't familiar with the People's system of measurement.

"What? Artemis Fowl doesn't know. I thought you were the world's expert on the People."

Alex could smell a fight brewing and decided to intervene. "I thing a four for me. Four and a half if you have it."

Holly passed him a second package while Artemis unwrapped his own. It was a suit of some ultralight rubber polymer.

"Antiradiation," Holly explained. "Your cells will thank me in fifty years, if you're still around."

Both boys pulled a suit over their clothes; each shrank to fit like a second skin.

"Clever material." Artemis commented as Alex flexed his arms experimentally.

"Memory latex. Molds itself to your shape, within reason. One use only, unfortunately. Wear it and recycle it."

Butler clinked over. He was carrying so much fairy weaponry that Foaly had supplied him wit a Moonbelt. The belt reduced the effective weight of its attachments to one fifth of the Earth norm.

"What about me?" asked Butler, nodding at the rad suits.

Holly frowned. "We don't have anything that deformed. Latex can only go so far."

Alex smiled slightly and blew more air out of his nose than usual.

"Forget it, I've been in Russia before. It didn't kill me."

"Not yet it didn't. Give it time."

Butler shrugged. "What choice do I have?"

Holly smiled, and there was a nasty tinge to it.

"Oh, I didn't say there wasn't a choice."

She reached into the locker, pulling out a large spray can. And for some reason, that little can scared Butler more than a bunker full of missiles. Alex's eyes brightened and he leaned forward.

"Now, hold still," she said, aiming a gramophone-type nozzle at the bodyguard. "This may stink worse than a hermit dwarf, but at least your skin wont glow in the dark."


	21. To Russia With Gloves (part 1)

**E93, Arctic Shuttleport**

The Arctic Station had never been high on the fairy tourist list. Sure, icebergs and polar bears were pretty, but nothing was worth saturating your lungs with irradiated air.

Holly docked the shuttle in the only serviceable bay.

The terminal itself resembled nothing more than a deserted warehouse. Static conveyor belts snaked along the floor, and low-level heating pipes rattled with insect life.

Holly handed out human overcoats and gloves from an ancient locker.

"Wrap up, Mud Boys. It's cold outside."

Neither boy needed to be told. The terminal's solar batteries had long since shut down, and the ice's grip had cracked the walls like a nut in a vice.

Artemis immediately grabbed the dark fur coat thrown to him, raising an eyebrow at Alex who seemed to opt for a pale white poncho-shaped one. It was a poor choice as it looked to be thinner than the others.

Holly tossed Butler his coat from a distance.

"You know something, Butler, you stink." She said as Artemis attempted to help his flailing brother, whose head seemed to be too big for the neck hole.

The manservant growled, ignoring a distinctly Alex-like chortle next to him. "You and your radiation gel. I think my skin's changed color."

"Don't worry about it. Fifty years and it'll wash right off."

Butler buttoned a Cossack greatcoat to his neck.

"I don't know why you're getting all wrapped up. You've got the fancy suits."

"The coats are camouflage," explained Holly, smearing rad gel on her face and neck. "If we shield, the vibration makes the suits useless. Might as well dip your bones in a reactor core. So for tonight only, we're all humans."

Alex saw Artemis frown and he knew why. If the fairies couldn't shield, it would make rescuing their father much more difficult. His brother's still-forming plan would have to be adjusted.

"Less of the chat," growled Root, pulling a bearskin hat over his pointed ears. "We move out in five. I want everybody armed and dangerous. Even you two, if your little wrists can support a weapon."

Artemis selected a fairy handgun from the shuttle's arsenal. He jacked the battery into its slot, flicking the setting up to three. Meanwhile, Alex just stared blankly at the selection; he didn't like guns. Seeing his indecision, Artemis passed him a flare gun; it wasn't much in the way of firearms but he imagined it would be the only thing his brother would be comfortable carrying. Then he turned to Root.

"Don't worry about me, Commander. I've been practicing. We have quite a stash of LEP weaponry at the manor."

Root's complexion cranked up a notch. Alex wasn't sure whether to facepalm or elbow his brother in the stomach.

"Well, there's a big difference between stunning a cardboard cutout and a real person."

Artemis smiled his vampire smile. "If everything proceeds according to plan, there will be no need for weapons. The first stage is simplicity itself; we set up a surveillance post near Vassikin's apartment. When the opportunity arises, Butler will snatch our Russian friend and the six of us can have a little chat. I'm sure that he will tell us everything we need to know under the influence of your _Mesmer_. Then, it will be a simple matter to stun any guards and rescue my father."

Root pulled a heavy scarf over his mouth. "And what if things don't go according to plan?"

Artemis's eyes were cold and determined.

"Then commander we will have to improvise."

Alex noticed Captain Short shiver slightly, and he knew it had nothing to do with the cold. He understood that. When their father first went missing Alex's denial of his highly-likely death was every bit as strong as Artemis's—only he was six, so there was a bit more yelling involved. But it was different now, three years later. It wasn't that he didn't want his father back, it was more like he was willing to just let things lay.

Artemis, however, was much more stubborn.

* * *

**AN: Sorry, again, for the long delay. I got waylaid by school and, now, work. Good news-I'm working on the 'Russia' chapter and I'll hopfully have that finished up and ready to post very soon.**


	22. To Russia With Gloves (part 2)

**AN: Okay I won't lie, I finished this chapter and then completely forgot to upload them onto Doc Manager-much less post them. So I think I'm just going to upload them both at once to get them out of the way.**

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The terminal was buried fifty feet below an ice pack. They took the courtesy elevator to the surface, and the party emerged into the Arctic night looking for all the world like an adult and four children. Albeit with three children with inhuman weaponry clanking under every loose fold of cloth.

Holly checked the GPS locator on her wrist.

"We're in the _Rosta_ district, Commander. Twenty klicks north of Murmansk."

"What's Foaly got on the weather? I don't want to be caught in the middle of a blizzard twenty miles from our destination."

"No luck. I can't get a line. Magma flares must still be up."

"D'Arvit," swore Root. "Well I suppose we'll have to take our chances on foot. Butler you're the expert here, you take point. Captain Short, bring up the rear. Feel free to boot any human backside if it lags behind."

Holly winked at Artemis as Alex hid a grin behind his sleeve-swallowed hand. "No need to tell me twice, sir."

"I'll bet there isn't," grunted Root, with only the barest hint of a smile playing about his lips.

The motley band trudged southeast by moonlight until they reached the railway line. Walking along the sleepers was the only way they could be safe from drifts and suck holes. Progress was slow. A northerly wind snaked through every pore in their clothing, and the cold attacked any exposed skin like a million electric darts.

There was little conversation. The Arctic had that effect on people, even if four of them were wearing coil-heated suits.

The suit was especially useless to Alex in particular, who struggled to hike through the snow and ice in his worn out loafers. At one point he slipped on a thin sheet of ice and would've fallen on his face if Artemis hadn't caught him. After that the older boy kept a firm arm around his shoulders.

Eventually Holly broke the silence. Something had been nagging at her for some time.

"Tell me something, Fowl," she said from behind Artemis. "Your father. Is he like you?"

Artemis's step faltered for an instant, causing his arm around Alex's shoulder to drop. "That's a strange question. Why do you ask?"

Alex, for his part, continued on his way, only glancing towards his shoulder with a raised eyebrow.

"Well you're no friend to the People. What if the man we're trying to rescue is the man who will destroy us?"

Now Artemis considered himself an expert on a variety of subjects, one of which was telling when Alex was about to go off—the sudden straightening of his back, the tensing of his should and neck muscles.

All things he was displaying now.

The younger boy turned on his heel and closed the space between him and the Captain in an instant.

"He's my dad too!"

Holly reeled back from Alex's sudden materialization. More startling than that was the expression on the boy's face, up until now it was nearly impossible to imagine a face like his angry. She was still attempting to form a response when Alex's lips pressed into a tight line and tears prickled in his eyes. As quickly as he appeared Alex turned and stomped forward back towards Root and Butler.

Holly moved to follow him but Artemis curtly blocked her path. "Give him a moment, he'll calm down." After a second he awkwardly lowered his arm and dropped his chin to his chest. "In any case you have no cause to be alarmed, Captain. My father, though some of his ventures were undoubtedly illegal, was…is…a noble man. The idea of harming another creature would be repugnant to him."

Holly tugged her boot, which she'd inadvertently let get buried in eight inches of snow. "So, what happened to you?"

Artemis's breath bloomed in icy clouds in front of his nose. "I…I made a mistake."

Holly squinted at the back of the human's head as he continued forward. Was this actual sincerity from Artemis Fowl? It was hard to believe, even if he did have Alex for a brother. Even more surprising was the fact that she didn't know how to react—to extend the hand of forgiveness or the boot of retribution. Eventually she decided to reserve judgement. For the moment.

Alex, meanwhile, stomped off to a nearby snow drift to sulk. His thoughts a clouded mixture of indignant anger and subtle disappointment. Neither of which were directed at the Captain; it seemed he wasn't as at peace with his father's absence as he would've liked. This was why he planted himself at the base of the drift and pulled his knees to his chin. The wind whipped up again and he pulled his hood up over his ears, now nearly invisible against the white background in his pale coat.


	23. To Russia With Gloves (part 3)

They passed into a ravine, worn smooth by the whistling wind. Butler didn't like it. His soldier's sense was beating a tattoo on the inside of his skull. He raised a clenched fist.

Root doubled his pace to catch up.

"Trouble?"

Butler squinted into the snow field, searching for footprints. "Maybe. Nice spot for a surprise attack."

"Maybe. If anyone knew we were coming."

"Is that possible? Could someone know?"

Root snorted, breath forming clouds in the air before him.

"Impossible. The chute is totally isolated, and LEP security is the tightest on the planet."

And that was when the goblin hit squad soared over the ridge.

Butler grabbed Artemis by the collar, unceremoniously flinging him into Alex's drift. His other hand was already drawing his weapon.

"Keep your heads down, boys. Time for me to earn my salary."

"Why? What's wrong?" Alex asked as he crawled out from the opposite side of the drift, finding his brother's head under three feet of snow.

Artemis may have responded testily, even if no one could've heard him, but opted instead to blindly grab the collar of his brother's coat and yank the boy to the ground.

There were four goblins flying in loose formation, dark against the starlit sky. They quickly rose to a thousand feet, making no attempt to conceal their presence. They neither attacked nor fled, simply hovered overhead.

"Goblins," grunted Root, pulling a Farshoot neutrino rifle into his shoulder. "Too stupid to live. All they had to do was pick us off."

Butler picked a spot, spreading his legs for steadiness.

"Do we wait until we see the whites of their eyes, Commander?"

"Goblin eyes don't have whites," responded Root. "But even so, holster your weapon. Captain Short and I will stun them. No need for anyone to die."

Butler slid the Sig Sauer into its pouch beneath his arm. It was next to useless at that range, anyway. It would be interesting to see how Holly and Root handled themselves in a firefight. After all, Artemis and Alex's lives were pretty much in their hands. Not to mention his own.

Alex, meanwhile, glanced sideways over his brother's hand. The Commander and Captain were pumping the triggers of various weapons. Without any result.

"I don't understand it," muttered Root. "I checked these myself."

Artemis, naturally, was the first to figure it out. He shook the snow from his hair and released Alex's collar.

"Sabotage," he proclaimed, tossing aside the useless fairy handgun. "There is no other alternative. This is why the B'wa Kell need softnose weapons, because they have somehow disrupted fairy lasers.

But the Commander wasn't listening, neither was Butler. This was no time for clever deductions, this was a time for action.

Alex, however, heard every word and suddenly remembered his own "weapon". He scrambled to the other end of the snow drift—away form the others—as several softnose laser bursts bored hissing holes in the snow at their feet.

Now understanding why he felt compelled to the pale blue coat, he reached under the front and pulled out the flare gun. Then his hasty intentions hit a dead end. Was there some sort of safety he'd have to click off? Could the flare possibly kill the goblins? Was this thing even loaded?

His questions were halted as he noticed Butler grab Artemis by the collar and hoist him aloft. Out of time, Alex aimed the general direction of the hovering goblins and pulled the trigger, a bright red flare faithfully shooting out of the nozzle milliseconds before Butler's large arm wrapped around his middle and lifted him up.

While Alex's flare providing a thankful distraction, they struggled through the snow to the shelter of the overhang. Maybe a million years ago the ice had melted sufficiently for a layer of ice to slump slightly, then freeze up again. The resulting wrinkle had somehow lasted through the ages and now could possibly save their lives.

They dived underneath the lip, wriggling backward against a wall of ice. The ice canopy was easily thick enough to withstand gunfire from any conventional weapon.

Butler shielded Artemis with his body as the older boy wrapped his arms around his little brother. After a moment, he risked an upward glance.

"Too far. I can't make them out."

Alex watched as Captain Short poked her head from under the frozen ledge, he Optix zoomed into focus.

"What are they doing?" He asked.

The Captain waited a beat, until the figures sharpened.

"Funny thing," she commented. "They're all firing now, but…"

"But what, Captain?" Root barked.

Captain Short tapped her helmet to make sure the lenses were working.

"Maybe I'm getting some Optix distortion, sir, but it looks like they're missing on purpose, shooting way over our heads."

Butler felt the blood pounding in his brain.

"It's a trap!" he roared, reaching behind him to grab his charges. "Everybody out! Everybody out!"

And that was when the goblin charges sent fifty tons of rock, ice, and snow tumbling to earth.

They nearly made it. Of course, _nearly_ never won a bucket of squid at gnomish roulette. If it hadn't been for Butler, not one of the group would have survived. Something happened to him. An inexplicable surge of strength, not unlike the energy bursts that allow mothers to lift fallen trees off their children. Intending to grab the two boys, Butler reached to each side. Unfortunately, Alex was still pressed up against Artemis's side. So Butler grabbed Holly, while Alex was violently ripped from his brother's embrace, falling onto his hands while the two were sent spinning forward like stones across a pond.

For the second time in as many minutes, Artemis landed nose-first in a snowdrift. Behind him Alex scrabbled to his feet beneath the ledge alongside Butler and Root, boots slipping on the icy surface. His ears were filled with avalanche thunder. Suddenly, the ice beneath them split, sending thick chunks of rock and ice to spear the cave opening like bars. The three of them were trapped.

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**AN: Alright, now that I've got this chapter done I'm gonna be taking a break to clean up YB a bit-fix grammar errors and group all the chapter parts together like I did when I finished book 1. I'll also be doing the same thing with Ryn's story and getting started on book 2 for her.  
So hope you've liked the story thus far, I'll be back at this once I get Ryn caught up a bit more. But for now be sure to leave a comment (cuz who doesn't love getting those?) and enjoy the cliffhanger!**


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